Scenes and legends of the north of Scotland : $b or, The traditional history of Cromarty
John Stuart Mill · en
“Do you ever pray?” inquired Mr. Davidson; Andrew shut the book, and,
hanging down his head, timidly replied in the negative. “What! not
pray! Do you go so far from home to attend sermons, and yet not bow the
knee to God in prayer?”--“Ah!” he answered, “I do bow the knee perhaps
six or seven times a day, but I cannot call that praying to God--I want
the spirit of prayer; I often ask I hardly know what, and with scarce
any desire to receive; and often, when a half sense of my condition has
compelled me to kneel, a vicious wandering imagination carries me away,
and I rise again, not knowing what I have said.”--“Oh!” rejoined the
clergyman, “only persist. But tell me, was it your ordinary practice,
in past years, to attend sermons as you do now?” “No, sir, quite
the reverse; once or twice in a season, perhaps, I went to church,
but I used to quit it through weariness ere the service was half
completed.”--“And how do you account for the change?” “I cannot account
for it; I only know, that formerly I had no heart to go and hear of
God at any time, and that now I dare not keep away.” Mr. Davidson
then inquired whether he had ever conversed on these matters with Mr.
Gordon, the minister of the parish; but was asked with much simplicity,
in return, what Mr. Gordon would think of a poor boy like him presuming
to call on him? “I have many doubts and uncertainties,” said he, “but
I am afraid to ask any one to solve them. Once, indeed, but only once,
I plucked up resolution enough to inquire of a friend how I might
glorify God. He bade me obey God’s commandments, for that was the way
to glorify Him, and I now see the value of the advice; but I see, also,
that only through faith in Jesus Christ can fallen man acquire an
ability to profit by it.”
“This last answer, so much above his years,” says Mr. Davidson,
“occasioned my asking him how he had become so intimately acquainted
with these truths? He modestly answered, ‘I hear Mr. Gordon preach,’ as
if he had said, My knowledge bears no proportion to the advantages I
enjoy.” And thus ended the conference; for, after exhorting him to be
much in secret prayer, and to testify to the world the excellence of
what he sought after, by being a diligent scholar and a dutiful son,
Mr. Davidson bade him farewell. The poor little fellow was wandering,
at this period, over that middle space which lies between the devoted
city and the wicket gate; struggling at times in the deep mire of the
slough, at times journeying beside the hanging hill. He had received,
however, the roll from Evangelist, and saw the shining light of the
wicket becoming clearer and brighter as he advanced.