Scenes and legends of the north of Scotland : $b or, The traditional history of Cromarty
John Stuart Mill · en
Ninety years after the year of the meal mob, and when every one who
had either shared in it or remembered it were sleeping in their
graves, I was amusing myself, one wet day, in turning over some old
papers stored up in the drawers of a moth-eaten scrutoire, which had
once belonged to Donald Sandison, when a small parcel of manuscripts,
wrapped up with a piece of tape, which had once been red, attracted
my notice. The first manuscript I drew out bore date 1742, and was
entitled, “Representation, Condescendence, and Interlocutors, in the
process of Matthew Simpson against the Cromarty men.” It contained
a grievous complaint made by the town’s-folk to the Right Hon. Lord
Balmerino. “Simpson was a person of a rancorous and very litigious
spirit,” urged the paper; “and it was surely not a little unreasonable
in him to expect, as he did in the suit, that the people of a whole
country-side, indubitably innocent of every act of violence alleged
against them, should be compelled to undertake a weary pilgrimage to
Edinburgh to answer to his charges, when, from the circumstances of
the case, anything they could have to depone anent the spulzie, would
yield exactly the same result, whether deponed at Edinburgh, Cromarty,
or Japan.” It went on to show that the people were miserably depressed
by poverty; and that, if compelled to set out on such a journey, they
would have to beg by the way; while their wives and children would be
reduced to starvation at home, without even the resource of begging
itself, seeing that all their neighbours were as wretchedly poor as
themselves. Next in order in the parcel followed the statements of
Mr. Matthew Simpson, addressed also to his Lordship. He had been
robbed, he affirmed, by the men of the north three several times;
twice by the people, and once by the lawyers; and having lost in this
way a great deal of money, he could not well afford to lose more.
It was stated, further, by the master, that Edinburgh could not be
farther from Cromarty than Cromarty from Edinburgh; and that it was
quite as reasonable, and fully as safe for the weaker party, that the
conspirators should have to defend themselves in the metropolis, as
that he, the prosecutor, should have to assail them in the village.
Both manuscripts seemed redolent of that old school of Scotch law in
which joke was so frequently called in to the assistance of argument,
and dry technicalities relieved by dry humour. A third paper of the
parcel bore date 1750, and was entitled, “Discharge from Matthew
Simpson to Donald Sandison and others.” The fourth and last was a piece
of barbarous rhyme, dignified, however, with the name of poetry, and
which, after describing mealmongers as “damned rascals,” and “the worst
of all men,” assured them, with a proper contempt for both the law of
the land and the doctrine of purgatory, that there is an executive
power vested in the people, which enables them to take summary justice