If she shattered his natural and spontaneous love, would a fresh type,
all unknown to him now--that which is founded on pity and kindly
indulgence--rise from out the ruins? Suppose not? What if that other
kind of love--tender and divine though it may be--was impossible for
him? She did not fear that he would repulse her cruelly and
scornfully--that he could never do, surely. But suppose his love was
killed, while hers remained alive? Ah! Merciful heavens!
With eyes filled by a sudden horror she stopped short before the
painting of Geoff that hung upon the wall. Long she gazed, and her wild
glance grew gentle with unutterable affection--with an almost maternal
yearning. Would life be endurable were it not henceforth consecrated to
this man? Ten thousand times no! Both heart and intellect anguished to
be allowed full scope to expend their uttermost capacities in the
service of love.
And was she not verily endowed with gifts both mental and physical that
would enable her to make existence infinitely more delightful, more
full, interesting and complete for him, than could possibly be his lot
with Art for his sole mistress? Surely herein lay her foreordained
life's work? Who could be so cruel, so pitiless, as to wish her to be
made an outcast from this her heritage? She stretched forth her hands
imploringly to the dear pictured face. Would he wish it? Oh, surely not!
She felt now that her very cause for existence was explained--she had
discovered the end whereunto she had been created--the duty for which
she had been placed on earth, and for the more perfect fulfilment of
which every previous experience of her life, glad or sorry, had been but
essential preliminary training.
Geoff was sweet-natured indeed, and ever kindly, yet all artistic
temperaments need understanding. It would require true insight and
discretion, perchance a deal of patience and forbearance, to render any
lifelong union naught but an added inspiration, an unfailing stimulus,
an additional happiness to this now ardent lover. Could there be any
other woman more fitted to this task than she was herself--more capable
of taking Geoff's whole existence into her tender keeping, and thereby
blessing and enriching it day by day?
Surely if he never learnt this--her one and only secret--it would be
impotent as if it had no existence? And never would it be revealed to
him by outside agency; at least, so far as human foresight could
discern. Who among those who had known the truth in those bygone years
was in the least likely to again cross her path? Not a single
individual. Surely it would be well for Geoffrey to be so far
deceived--to be tricked, and, if necessary, lied to on this one point?
Would not his ultimate greatest happiness be thereby ensured? Since he
wished her for his wife, should he not have his will? Looking to her
unhesitatingly for all the good and true, the pure and beauteous in
womanhood--was he to be disillusioned?