Strictly Business: More Stories of the Four Million — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Strictly Business: More Stories of the Four Million
John Stuart Mill · en
Of course they have, in the climate, an argument that is good for half
an hour while you are thinking of your coal bills and heavy underwear.
But as soon as they come to mistake your silence for conviction,
madness comes upon them, and they picture the city of the Golden Gate
as the Bagdad of the New World. So far, as a matter of opinion, no
refutation is necessary. But, dear cousins all (from Adam and Eve
descended), it is a rash one who will lay his finger on the map and
say: “In this town there can be no romance—what could happen here?”
Yes, it is a bold and a rash deed to challenge in one sentence history,
romance, and Rand and McNally.
NASHVILLE—A city, port of delivery, and the capital of the State of
Tennessee, is on the Cumberland River and on the N. C. & St. L. and the
L. & N. railroads. This city is regarded as the most important
educational centre in the South.
I stepped off the train at 8 P.M. Having searched the thesaurus in vain
for adjectives, I must, as a substitution, hie me to comparison in the
form of a recipe.
Take a London fog 30 parts; malaria 10 parts; gas leaks 20 parts;
dewdrops gathered in a brick yard at sunrise, 25 parts; odor of
honeysuckle 15 parts. Mix.
The mixture will give you an approximate conception of a Nashville
drizzle. It is not so fragrant as a moth-ball nor as thick as pea-soup;
but ’tis enough—’twill serve.
I went to a hotel in a tumbril. It required strong self-suppression for
me to keep from climbing to the top of it and giving an imitation of
Sidney Carton. The vehicle was drawn by beasts of a bygone era and
driven by something dark and emancipated.
I was sleepy and tired, so when I got to the hotel I hurriedly paid it
the fifty cents it demanded (with approximate lagniappe, I assure you).
I knew its habits; and I did not want to hear it prate about its old
“marster” or anything that happened “befo’ de wah.”
The hotel was one of the kind described as “renovated.” That means
$20,000 worth of new marble pillars, tiling, electric lights and brass
cuspidors in the lobby, and a new L. & N. time table and a lithograph
of Lookout Mountain in each one of the great rooms above. The
management was without reproach, the attention full of exquisite
Southern courtesy, the service as slow as the progress of a snail and
as good-humored as Rip Van Winkle. The food was worth traveling a
thousand miles for. There is no other hotel in the world where you can
get such chicken livers _en brochette_.
At dinner I asked a Negro waiter if there was anything doing in town.
He pondered gravely for a minute, and then replied: “Well, boss, I
don’t really reckon there’s anything at all doin’ after sundown.”
Sundown had been accomplished; it had been drowned in the drizzle long
before. So that spectacle was denied me. But I went forth upon the
streets in the drizzle to see what might be there.
It is built on undulating grounds; and the streets are lighted by
electricity at a cost of $32,470 per annum.