It may be said generally of husbands, as the old woman said of hers, who had abused her to an old maid, who reproached her for being such a fool as to marry him:--"To be sure, he's not so good a husband as he should be, but he's a _powerful sight_ better than none." A PRINTER'S TOAST.--481. At a printer's festival the following sentiment was offered:--"Woman, second only to the press in the dissemination of news." WASHINGTON IRVING.--482. Washington Irving's characteristic was quiet humour; mild enough, but quaint; as when he said to a gentleman who, in a thunder-storm, declined to take shelter under a tree, having promised to his father, who had been once hit, never to do so: "Oh, that makes all the difference in the world. If it is hereditary, and lightning runs in the family, you are wise." QUIZZING A WITNESS.--483. Chapman, a witty lawyer of Hartford, was busy with a case at which a lady was present, with whom he had already something to do as a witness. Her husband was present--a diminutive, meek, forbearing sort of a man--who, in the language of Mr. Chapman, "looked like a rooster just fished out of a swill barrel," while the lady was a large portly woman, evidently the better horse. As on the former occasion, she baulked on the cross-examination. The lawyer was pressing a question urgently, when she said, with vindictive fire flashing from her eyes, "Mr. Chapman, you needn't think to catch me; you tried that once before!" Putting on his most quizzical expression, he replied, "Madam, I haven't the slightest desire to catch you, and your husband looks as if he was sorry he did." The husband faintly smiled assent. A WITTY AIDE-DE-CAMP.--484. During the battle of Fredericksburg, the Confederate General Lee observed one of his aides-de-camp, a very young man, shrink every now and then, and by the motion of his body, seek to evade, if possible, the shot. "Sir," said Lee, "what do you mean? Do you think you can dodge the balls? Do you know that Napoleon lost about a hundred aides-de-camp in one campaign?" "So I've read," replied the young officer, "but I did not think you could spare so many." NATURE AND ART.--485. A worthy English agriculturist visited the great dinner-table of the Astor House Hotel, in New York, and took up the bill of fare. His eye caught up the names of its, to him, unknown dishes:--"Soupe à la Flamande"--"Soupe à la Creci"--"Langue de Boeuf piquée"--"Pieds de Cochon à la Ste. Ménéhould"--"Patés de sanglier"--"Patés à la gelée de volailles"--"Les cannelons de crème glacée." It was too much for his simple heart, and laying down the scarlet-bound volume in disgust, he cried to the waiter, "Here, my good man, I shall go back to _first principles_! Give us some beans and bacon!" THE PRESIDENT AND THE MARSHAL.--486.