That evening, when she came downstairs, he spoke very little to her, and
studiously avoided looking at her. She played accompaniments for Pamela
part of the time; and he sat alone on the stoep and smoked and watched
them through the French windows. Once Pamela put her arm round the
girl's shoulders, and remained in this position while she sang.
Inexplicably her attitude jarred Arnott. The girl sat very stiffly.
She did not, he observed, once lift her eyes from the sheet of music she
was reading.
Shortly before her usual time for retiring he left his seat, and went
upstairs, and waited on the landing until she appeared. He heard the
drawing-room door open and close. Then the piano sounded again, and
Pamela's voice, rich, and full, and sweet, came to his ears as he stood
there in the gloom of the landing, listening for Blanche's light
ascending footfall.
Presently she appeared, and stood, a dusky figure in the half light, her
simple white dress revealing soft full throat and rounded arms, and a
surprisingly graceful form. She paused, startled at seeing him there,
and instinctively threw out a protesting hand. He caught her to him,
and kissed her passionately, holding her strained against his breast.
"Oh, don't!" she gasped, a little frightened at the steel-like pressure
of his arms.
She was trembling from head to foot. Never had she been kissed like
this in all her life before. His passion scorched her, terrified her,
left her quivering with shame and mortification. And yet she was not
angry. These hot kisses raining upon her lips, his kisses earlier in
the day, roused in her the desire to be kissed. An unemotional,
loveless girlhood had repressed, but not slain, the inherent qualities
of a passionate nature; Arnott's virile love-making was calling these
repressed emotions to life. She wanted to be loved; she wanted to be
kissed; wanted to be made to feel that she counted in some one's life,--
was important,--necessary to some one.
At the moment of offering her feeble protest, when she yet yielded to
his caresses, it did not occur to her that Arnott had no right to make
her of account in his life. That aspect of the case appealed to her
later, when she lay in bed unable to sleep for the unwholesome
excitement which fired her brain and quickened the beating of her heart.
When she considered Arnott in the light of a married man, and realised
that his making love to her was an insult, it sickened her. She felt
angry--angry with him, and fiercely jealous of Pamela. She hated
Pamela,--hated her for having all the things which she desired and had
not got,--hated her for her fair smiling prettiness, her kindness, her
utter lack of appreciation--as it seemed to Blanche--of all the good she
possessed. Why should Pamela have everything, and she only the stealthy
kisses of a man whose kisses were an insult?