The sun was sinking low towards the west, disappearing in a crimson
glory which reflected its red glow in their faces, and splashed the
girl's white skirt with vivid colour. She stared at the dying splendour
of the day with discontented eyes, which read in the vision of this
royal withdrawal the melancholy inevitableness of destiny,--the futility
of striving against the combined forces of nature and habit and
inclination. Why, as Arnott argued, should one refuse what life offered
from some unprofitable idea of right? Life had offered her so little:
the only gladness she had known came to her through this man's disloyal
affection. Nothing could result from their intercourse. Already it
caused her more pain than pleasure. But the unwholesome flattery of his
attentions held her captive to the intoxicating excitement of the
senses. Each new licence he permitted himself, against which she
offered the vain resistance of a half-heartened remonstrance, left her
more unguarded to his persistent attack. She despised herself for
accepting his caresses, for allowing him to talk to her as he did.
Always she resolved that each time should be the last; and on the next
occasion she yielded to him again. When the mind becomes subordinated
to the senses moral victory is impossible.
"Let us rest here a while," Arnott said.
He drew her aside from the road, and spread his coat for her under the
shade of a tree. He seated himself beside her, and smoked and talked
disconnectedly about himself,--of the aimlessness of his life, of his
unrealised hopes, his disappointments, and the unsatisfying nature of
his married life. He did not speak to her of love; he contented himself
with trying to arouse her sympathy, and to place the disloyalty of his
conduct in a less condemnatory light. He was the misunderstood,
unappreciated husband, whose sole function in his wife's eyes was to
provide her with the agreeable and comfortable things of life.
If this description was not altogether consistent with the home life as
she had observed it when she first came to live with them, Blanche
ascribed the discrepancy to her want of perception, or to the decent
deceptions he had practised in order to keep up before the world a
pretence of domestic amiability. She was convinced he was quite sincere
in what he told her. He was, as a matter of fact, talking himself into
a belief in Pamela's coldness. He began to feel genuinely sorry for
himself in the role of the unappreciated husband divorced from the
sympathies of an indifferent wife. Pamela was indifferent of late, he
reflected; she had grown strangely independent of him.