The City of Delight: A Love Drama of the Siege and Fall of Jerusalem
John Stuart Mill · en
He smiled a baffling smile and she looked at him in despair. The very
charm of his personal appearance awakened resentment in her; his deft
and easy complaisance angered her because it could be effective. She
hated the superficial excellence in him which made him a pleasant
companion. He had refused to discuss her identity further, except to
prevent her in her own attempts to identify herself. He did not refer
to the incidents of their journey to Jerusalem, but she felt that he
was conscious of all these things, and her resentment was so great
that she put it out of sight, lest at the time when she should be
proved she would have come to hate him to the further thwarting of
their work for Israel.
"It is sweet to have you concerned for me. Now you may understand how
much I am troubled for your own welfare. Do not regard me with that
unbending gaze. I am, first and before all else, your friend."
"You have changed," she said slowly. "I did not find in you this
solicitude in the hills."
"Unhappiness," he sighed, "makes most men law-less. I should be even
now as bad, were I not sure of the sympathy you feel for me."
She looked at him with large disdain.
"Does not this woman treat you well?" she asked with the first glimmer
of sarcasm in her eyes.
"Her displeasure in me is that I do not make her a queen; yours,
however, that I can not save this doomed nation! Her ambitions are for
herself; yours are for me. Which waketh the response in my heart,
lady?"
"What have I lived for?" she burst out. "For what was I brought up and
schooled? For what have I sacrificed all the light and desirable
things of my youth, but for--"
"Nay! Do not show me, yet, that you are only bent on being queen!" he
exclaimed.
"I care for nothing but the rescue of Judea!" she cried passionately.
"There is nothing left to me but that!"
"Then your ambitions are still for me. Alas, that the Messiah has come
and gone!"
It was his first reference to the great calamity he had told to her a
short time before. Its recurrence after she had resolved to regard it
as an impossible and blasphemous tale brought a chill to her heart.
"If I can prove to you that there is no hope for Jerusalem, what
then?" he asked suddenly.
She flung off the question with a gesture.
"Answer me. What then?"
"It is unimaginable what shall come to pass when God deserts His own."
"No need for imaginings. Look at Jerusalem and observe the fact. And
if we be abandoned, what fealty do we owe to a God that deserts us? If
you believe or not you are lost. Let us go out and live."
"If God has deserted us," she said scornfully, "how shall we be
happier elsewhere than here?"
"Every god to its own country. The Olympians are a jovial lot. I have
seen Joy's very self in heathendom."
She moved away but he rose and followed her.