The Cryptogram: A Novel — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Cryptogram: A Novel
John Stuart Mill · en
"When I left you on that ill-fated evening, I expected to be back as
I said. I walked up the beach thoughtlessly, and did not notice the
tide or any thing about it. I walked a long distance, and at last
felt tired, for I had done a great deal that day. I happened to see a
boat drawn up on the shore, and it seemed to be a good place to sit
down and rest. I jumped in and sat down on one of the seats. I took
off my hat and scarf, and luxuriated in the fresh sea breeze that was
blowing over the water. I do not know how long I sat there--I did not
think of it at that time, but at last I was roused from my pleasant
occupation very suddenly and painfully. All at once I made the
discovery that the boat was moving under me. I looked around in a
panic. To my horror, I found that I was at a long distance from the
shore. In an instant the truth flashed upon me. The tide had risen,
the boat had floated off, and I had not noticed it. I was fully a
mile away when I made this discovery, and cool as I am (according to
you), I assure you I nearly died of terror when the full reality of
my situation occurred to me. I looked all around, but saw no chance
of help. Far away on the horizon I saw numerous sails, and nearer to
me I saw a steamer, but all were too distant to be of any service. On
the shore I could not see a living soul.
"After a time I rallied from my panic, and began to try to get the
boat back. But there were no oars, although, if there had been, I do
not see how I could have used them. In my desperate efforts I tried
to paddle with my hands, but, of course, it was utterly useless. In
spite of all my efforts I drifted away further and further, and after
a very long time, I do not know how long, I found that I was at an
immense distance from the shore. Weakened by anxiety and fear, and
worn out by my long-continued efforts, I gave up, and, sitting down
again, I burst into a passion of tears. The day was passing on.
Looking at the sun I saw that it was the time when you would be
expecting me back. I thought of you, my darling, waiting for
me--expecting me--wondering at my delay. How I cursed my folly and
thoughtlessness in ever venturing into such danger! I thought of your
increasing anxiety as you waited, while still I did not come. I
thought, Oh, if she only knew where her poor Hilda is--what agony it
would give her! But such thoughts were heart-breaking, and at last I
dared not entertain them, and so I tried to turn my attention to the
misery of my situation. Ah, my dearest, think--only think of me, your
poor Hilda, in that boat, drifting helplessly along over the sea out
into the ocean!