Jack drew a long breath, and regarded me with a fixed stare. "I mean," said Jack, fixing his eyes upon me with an awful look, "I mean this --that I have to marry that woman." "Marry her?" "Yes," he exclaimed, dashing his fist upon the table savagely, "marry her! There you have it. I'm in for it. No escape. Escape--ha! ha! Nabbed, sir. All up! Married and done for--yes, eternally done for!" He jerked these words out in a fierce, feverish way; and then, flinging himself back, he clasped his knees with his hands, and sat regarding me with stern eyes and frowning brow. This mood of Jack's was a singular one. He was evidently undergoing great distress of mind. Under such circumstances as these, no levity could be thought of. Had he not been so desperate, I might have ventured upon a jest about the widow driving the others from the field and coming forth victorious; but, as it was, there was no room for jest. So I simply sat in silence, and returned his gaze. "Well?" said he at last, impatiently. "Well?" said I. "Haven't you got any thing to say about that?" "I don't know what to say. Your manner of telling this takes me more by surprise than the thing itself. After all, you must have looked forward to this." "Looked forward? I'll be hanged if I did, except in a very general way. Damn it, man! I thought she'd have a little pity on a fellow, and allow me some liberty. I didn't look forward to being shut up at once." "At once? You speak as though the event were near." "Near? I should think it was. What do you say to next week? Is that near or not? Near? I should rather think so." "Next week? Good Lord! Jack, do you really mean it? Nonsense!" "Next week--yes--and worse--on Tuesday--not the end, but the beginning, of the week--Tuesday, the 20th of June." "Tuesday, the 20th of June!" I repeated, in amazement. "Yes, Tuesday, the 20th of June," said Jack. "Heavens, man! what have you been up to? How did it happen? Why did you do it? Couldn't you have postponed it? It takes two to make an agreement. What do you mean by lamenting over it now? Why didn't you get up excuses? Haven't you to go home to see about your estates? Why, in Heaven's name, did you let it be all arranged in this way, if you didn't want it to be?" Jack looked at me for a few moments very earnestly. "Why didn't I?" said he, at length; "simply because I happen to be an unmitigated, uncontrollable, incorrigible, illimitable, and inconceivable ASS! That's the reason why, if you must know." Jack's very forcible way of putting this statement afforded me no chance whatever of denying it or combating it. His determination to be an ass was so vehement, that remonstrance was out of the question. I therefore accepted it as a probable truth.