Accordingly on the next day, at the appointed hour, I drew up in front
of O'Halloran's and went in. The ladies were there, but Nora was
half-reclining on a couch, and seemed rather miserable. She complained
of a severe attack of neuralgia, and lamented that she could not go. Up
on this I expressed my deepest regrets, and I hoped that Miss
O'Halloran would come. But Marion demurred, and said she wouldn't leave
Nora. Whereupon Nora urged her to go, and finally, after evident
reluctance, Marion allowed herself to be persuaded.
It was with an inexpressible feeling of exultation that I drove off
with her. At last we were alone together, and would be so for hours.
The frigidity which had grown up within her during the last two months
might possibly be relaxed now under the influence of this closer
association. My heart beat fast. I talked rapidly about every thing. In
my excitement I also drove rapidly at first, but finally I had
sufficient sense to see that there was no need to shorten so precious
an interview by hurrying it through, and so I slackened our speed.
As for Marion, she seemed as calm as I was agitated. Her demeanor was a
singular one. She was not exactly frigid or repellent. She was rather
shy and reserved. It was rather the constraint of timidity than of
dislike. Dislike? No. Not a bit of it. Whatever her feelings might be,
she had no reason for dislike. Still she was cold--and her coldness
began gradually to affect me in spite of my exultation, and to change
my joy to a feeling of depression.
After a few miles this depression had increased sufficiently to sober
me down completely. I no longer rattled. I became grave. A feeling of
despondency came over me. My spirits sank. There seemed no sympathy
between us--no reciprocity of feeling. She had no cordiality of manner
--no word, or look, or gesture, to give encouragement.
After a time my mood changed so under the influence of Marion's
depressing manner, that I fell into long fits of very ungallant
silence--silence, too, which she never attempted to break. Amid these
fits of silence I tried to conjecture the cause of her very great
coolness, and finally came to the very decision which I had often
reached before. "Yes," I thought, "she has discovered how I love her,
and she does not care for me. She has gratitude, but she cannot feel
love. So she wishes to repel me. She didn't want to come with me, and
only came because Nora urged her. She did not like to refuse, for fear
of seeming unkind to me. At the same time, now that she is with me, she
is trying to act in such a way as will effectually quell any unpleasant
demonstrations of mine." Thoughts like these reduced me to such a state
of gloom that I found myself indulging in fits of silence that grew
longer and longer.