"But she doesn't pretend to care for you--and lucky for her too." "That's true," said Jack, dolefully. "But what did she say about it?" "Say? Oh, she teased and teased, and then when she had pumped me dry she burst out into one of her fits-and then I got huffy-and she at once pretended to be very demure, the little sinner, though I saw her eyes twinkling with fun all the time. And at last she burst out: "'Oh, Captain Randolph! You're so awfully absurd. I can't help it, I must laugh. Now ain't you awfully funny? Confess. Please confess, Captain Randolph. Ple-e-e-ease do, like a good Captain Randolph. Ple-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ease!' "So my grim features relaxed, and I looked benignly at her, whereupon she burst out laughing again in my face. "'Well, I can't help it, I'm sure,' she said. 'You do look so droll. You try to make me laugh, and I laugh, and can't help it, and then you blame me for doing the very thing you make me do, and I think it's a shame--there, now." "Whereupon she began to pout, and look hurt, and so, you know, I had to go to work and explain to her." "What! not another explanation, I hope. A 'full, frank, free, fresh, ample,' and all that sort of thing, I suppose." "Oh, bother, chaff! I'm in earnest. I merely explained that I didn't take any offence from her laughter, but that I thought that if she cared for a fellow she wouldn't laugh at him. "'But, I never said I cared for you,' said she. "'Oh, well--you know what I mean--you're my friend, you know, and my only comfort,' said I. "At this she went off again. "'Well, then,' said I, 'what are you?' "She sat and thought. "'Well,' said she, 'I won't be your friend, for that's too cold; I won't be your sister, for that's too familiar. Let me see--what ought I to be? I can't be your guardian, for I'm too volatile--what, then, can I be? Oh, I see! I'll tell you, Captain Randolph, what I'll be. I'll pretend that I'm your aunt. There, sir.' "'Well, then,' said I, 'my own dear aunt.' "'No. That won't do--you are always absurd when you grow affectionate or sentimental. You may call me aunt--but no sentiment.' "'Well, Aunt Louie.' "She demurred a little, but finally, I gained my point. After this she gave me some good advice, and I left and came straight to you, to find your room empty." "Advice? You said she gave you advice? What was it?" "Well, the advised me to get immediate leave of absence, and go home for a time. I could then have a breathing-space to decide on my future." "Capital! Why, what a perfect little trump Louie is! Jack, my boy, that's the very thing you'll have to do." Jack shook his head. "Why not?" He shook his head again. "Well, what did you say to Louie?" "Why, I told her that it was impossible. She insisted that it was the very thing I ought to do, and wanted to know why I wouldn't. I refused to tell, whereupon she began to coax and tease, and tease and coax, and so the end of it was, I told her." "What was it?"