"It was as I had thought, therefore; the spectre was not objectively
visible to her. She could not get away from her own self, and hence
could gain no point of vantage whence her persecutor could be seen.
There was little doubt, nevertheless, that her mental picture of him
agreed with my ocular experience. It seemed to me, on the whole, that
her burden must be far harder to bear than mine. There is a kind of
relief in being able to face a horror; and my own feelings, since seeing
this evil spirit which was haunting us, had been in a certain sense more
tolerable, if more hopeless, than the night before. But how did I know
what agony she might suffer? Even her innocent sleep was not sacred from
this evil thing; all her maiden reserve and delicacy were outraged; she
could be safe nowhere--no one could protect her; and with me, who would
have given my life to please a whim of hers, her suffering and exposure
must be less endurable than anywhere else. I could well understand her
blush, poor girl--poor girl!"
Not for many years--not since, in fact, certain sad experiences of my
own early days--had I been so deeply stirred as by this recital of
Calbot's. His voice had great compass and expression, and the needs of
his profession had given its natural powers every cultivation. He
had a way of dwelling on certain words, and of occasionally pausing,
or appearing to hesitate, which greatly added to the effect of his
narrative. All this might be acquired by art, but not so the ever
and anon recurring falterings and breaks, into which, as now, he was
unexpectedly betrayed. I felt that it was unwise in me to listen to
him, to sympathise with him, as I was doing; yet could I not find it in
my heart to stop him. All fears of violence on his part had been for
some time past allayed. I was well aware that my encouragement of his
confidences could only result in my passing a feverish uncomfortable
night, and a listless dismal morrow; and yet I forbore to interrupt him.
Ah! it is we old bachelors who have hearts after all.
I blew my nose, Calbot cleared his throat, and continued.
VIII.