Let me see if I can make it plain to you. Mr. Pollard, whom we have all
known as an excellent but somewhat weak man, lay with his face turned
towards the room, and his gaze fixed with what I felt to be more than
the common anxiety of the dying upon mine. At his side sat his wife,
cold, formidable, alert, her hand on his hand, her eye on his eye, and
all her icy and implacable will set, as I could plainly see, between
him and any comfort or encouragement I might endeavor to impart. She
even allowed her large and commanding figure to usurp the place usually
accorded me on such occasions, and when, after a futile effort or so on
my part to break down the barrier of restraint that such a presence
necessarily imposed, I arose from my seat at the foot of the bed, and,
approaching closer, would have leaned over her husband, she put out her
other hand and imperatively waved me aside, remarking:
"The doctor says he must have air."
There are some persons whose looks and words are strangely controlling.
Mrs. Pollard is one of these, and I naturally drew back. But a glance
at Mr. Pollard's face made me question if I was doing right in this.
Such disappointment, such despair even, I had seldom seen expressed in
a look; and convinced that he had something of real purport to say to
me, I turned towards his wife, and resolutely remarked:
"The dying frequently have communications to make to which only their
pastor's ear is welcome. Will you excuse me, then, if I request a
moment's solitude with Mr. Pollard, that I may find out if his soul is
at rest before I raise my prayers in its behalf?"
But, before I had finished, I saw that any such appeal would be
unavailing. If her immovable expression had not given me this
assurance, the hopeless closing of his weak and fading eyes would have
sufficiently betrayed the fact.
"I cannot leave Mr. Pollard," were the words with which she tempered
her refusal. "If he has any communication to make, let him make it in
my presence. I am his wife." And her hand pressed more firmly upon his,
and her eyes, which had not stirred from his face even when I addressed
her, assumed a dark, if not threatening look, which gradually forced
his to open and meet them.
I felt that something must be done.
"Mr. Pollard," said I, "is there any thing you wish to impart to me
before you die? If so, speak up freely and with confidence, for I am
here to do a friend and a pastor's duty by you, even to the point of
fulfilling any request you may have to make, so it be only actuated by
right feeling and judgment." And determinedly ignoring her quick move
of astonishment, I pressed forward and bent above him, striving with
what I felt to be a purely righteous motive, to attract his glance from
hers, which was slowly withering him away as if it were a basilisk's.