The evening when I first brought these objects under a close and
conscientious scrutiny, was a memorable one to me. I had moved in early
that day, and with a woman's unreasoning caprice had forborne to cast
more than the most cursory glance around, being content to see that all
was as I left it at my first visit, and that neither desk nor library
had been disturbed. But when supper was over, and I could set myself
with a free mind to a contemplation of my new surroundings, I found
that my curiosity could no longer delay the careful tour of inspection
to which I felt myself invited by the freshness and beauty of the
pictures, and one or two of the statuettes which adorned the walls
about me. One painting in especial attracted me, and made me choose for
my first contemplation that side of the room on which it hung. It was a
copy of some French painting, and represented the temptation of a
certain saint. A curious choice of subject, you may think, to adorn a
Protestant clergyman's wall, but if you could have seen it, and marked
the extreme expression of mortal struggle on the face of the tempted
one, who, with eyes shut, and hands clutching till it bent the cross of
twigs stuck in the crevices of the rocks beneath which he writhed,
waited for the victory over self that was just beginning to cast its
light upon his brow, you would have felt that it was good to hang
before the eyes of any one in whom conflict of any kind was waging.
Upon me the effect was instantaneous, and so real that I have never
been able to think of that moment without a sense of awe and rending of
the heart. Human passion assumed a new significance in my mind, and the
will and faith of a strong man suffering from its power, yet
withstanding it to the very last gasp by the help of his trust in God,
rose to such an exalted position in my mind, that I felt then, as I
feel now whenever I remember this picture, that my whole moral nature
had received, from its contemplation, an impetus towards religion and
self-denial. While I was still absorbed in gazing at it, my landlady
entered the room, and seeing me posed before the picture, quite
sympathizingly exclaimed:
"Isn't that a dreadful painting, Miss Sterling, to have in any one's
room? I don't wonder Mr. Barrows wanted to cover it up."
"Cover it up?" I repeated, turning hastily in my surprise.