I fully expected to be summoned as a witness to the inquest held on
George White. However, as it turned out, they left me alone, and for
that I was thankful, though indeed I had little to fear from any
cross-examination; and Dr. Crackenthorpe would hardly have ventured
under the circumstances to use his professional influence to my
discomfiture, seeing that I had shown knowledge of the fact that
between him and the dead man was once, at least, some species of
understanding. So he gave his version of the affair, without any
reference to me, who indeed could hardly in any way be held
responsible for the catastrophe.
And now he lay dead, the latest victim of the inquisition of the
wheel, I most fully believed; a poor wretch withered under its ban
that would reach, it seemed, to agents but remotely connected with the
dark history of its immediate neighbors. He was dead, and with him, I
could but think, had passed my one chance of probing the direful
mystery in that direction where the core of it festered.
Thereafter for weeks I walked in a stubborn rebellion against fate,
intensified by the thought that this stultifying of my purpose had
come upon me on the heels of my triumphant mastery of that old weird
influence of the mill--a triumph that had seemed to pronounce me the
very chosen champion of truth to whom all ways to the undoing of the
wicked should be revealed.
But, now, as the month drew to its close, a new anxiety came to humble
me with the pathos of the world, and to assimilate all restless
emotions into one pale fog of silence, gray and sorrowful.
On a certain morning, looking in my father’s face when I brought him
his breakfast, I read something there, the import of which I would not
consider or dwell upon until I could escape and commune with myself
alone.
There was little external change in him and he was bright and
cheerful. It was only a certain sudden sense of withdrawal that struck
a chill into me--a sense as if life, seeking to steal unobserved from
its ancient prison, knew itself noticed and affected to be dallying
simply with the rusted locks and bolts.
Realizing this presently to the full, I determined then and there to
put everything else to one side and to devote myself single-handed to
the tender ministering to his last days upon earth. And grief and
sadness were mingled in me, for I loved the old man and could not but
rejoice that the inevitable should come to him so peacefully. But
prospect of the utter loneliness that would fall upon me when he was
gone woke a selfish resentment that he should be taken from me and
fought in my heart for mastery over the better emotion.
Did he know? Not certainly, perhaps, for slowly dying men give little
thought to the way they wander. But something in the prospect opening
out before him must, I think, have struck him with a dawning marvel at
its strangeness; as a sleeper, wakened from a weird romance of
dreaming, finds a wonder of unfamiliarity in the world restored to
him.