The Mill on the Floss — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Mill on the Floss
John Stuart Mill · en
Lucy hurried out of the room, but Maggie did not take the opportunity
of opening her book; she let it fall on her knees, while her eyes
wandered to the window, where she could see the sunshine falling on the
rich clumps of spring flowers and on the long hedge of laurels, and
beyond, the silvery breadth of the dear old Floss, that at this
distance seemed to be sleeping in a morning holiday. The sweet fresh
garden-scent came through the open window, and the birds were busy
flitting and alighting, gurgling and singing. Yet Maggie’s eyes began
to fill with tears. The sight of the old scenes had made the rush of
memories so painful that even yesterday she had only been able to
rejoice in her mother’s restored comfort and Tom’s brotherly
friendliness as we rejoice in good news of friends at a distance,
rather than in the presence of a happiness which we share. Memory and
imagination urged upon her a sense of privation too keen to let her
taste what was offered in the transient present. Her future, she
thought, was likely to be worse than her past, for after her years of
contented renunciation, she had slipped back into desire and longing;
she found joyless days of distasteful occupation harder and harder; she
found the image of the intense and varied life she yearned for, and
despaired of, becoming more and more importunate. The sound of the
opening door roused her, and hastily wiping away her tears, she began
to turn over the leaves of her book.
“There is one pleasure, I know, Maggie, that your deepest dismalness
will never resist,” said Lucy, beginning to speak as soon as she
entered the room. “That is music, and I mean you to have quite a
riotous feast of it. I mean you to get up your playing again, which
used to be so much better than mine, when we were at Laceham.”
“You would have laughed to see me playing the little girls’ tunes over
and over to them, when I took them to practise,” said Maggie, “just for
the sake of fingering the dear keys again. But I don’t know whether I
could play anything more difficult now than ‘Begone, dull care!’”
“I know what a wild state of joy you used to be in when the glee-men
came round,” said Lucy, taking up her embroidery; “and we might have
all those old glees that you used to love so, if I were certain that
you don’t feel exactly as Tom does about some things.”
“I should have thought there was nothing you might be more certain of,”
said Maggie, smiling.
“I ought rather to have said, one particular thing. Because if you feel
just as he does about that, we shall want our third voice. St Ogg’s is
so miserably provided with musical gentlemen. There are really only
Stephen and Philip Wakem who have any knowledge of music, so as to be
able to sing a part.”
Lucy had looked up from her work as she uttered the last sentence, and
saw that there was a change in Maggie’s face.