The Miller Of Old Church — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Miller Of Old Church
John Stuart Mill · en
"I might have known it would be like this," he was thinking. "First, I
wanted the mill, so I'd lie awake at night about it, and then when I got
it all the machinery was worn out. It's always that way and always
will be, I reckon." And it appeared to him that this terrible law of
incompleteness lay like a blight over the over the whole field of human
endeavour. He saw Molly, fair and fitting as she had been yesterday
after the quarrel, and he told himself passionately that he wanted her
too much ever to win her. On the ground by the brook he saw the spray
of last year's golden-rod, and the sight brought her back to him with
a vividness that set his pulses drumming. In his heart he cursed Mr.
Jonathan's atonement more fervently than he had ever cursed his sin.
The next day he went to Reuben's funeral, with his mother and Blossom
at his side, walking slowly across the moist fields, in which the vivid
green of the spring showed like patches of velvet on a garment of dingy
cloth. In front of him his mother moved stiffly in her widow's weeds,
which she still wore on occasions of ceremony, and in spite of her
sincere sorrow for Reuben she cast a sharp eye more than once on the hem
of her alpaca skirt, which showed a brown stain where she had allowed
it to drag in a forgetful moment. Only Archie was absent, but that was
merely because he had driven over to bring one of the Halloween girls in
Abel's gig. Sarah had heard him whistling in the stable at daybreak,
and looking out of the window a little later she had seen him oiling the
wheels of the vehicle. It had been decided at supper the evening before
that the family as a unit should pay its respects to Reuben. From
Sarah, comforting herself behind her widow's weeds with the doctrine of
original sin, to Archie, eager to give his sweetheart a drive, one and
all had been moved by a genuine impulse to dignify as far as lay
in their power the ceremonial of decay. Even Abner, the silent, had
remarked that he'd "never heard a word said against Reuben Merryweather
in his life." And now at the end of that life the neighbours had
gathered amid the ridges of green graves in the churchyard to bear
witness to the removal of a good man from a place in which he had been
honoured.
During the service Abel kept his eyes on Molly, who came leaning
on Gay's arm, and wearing what appeared to him a stifling amount of
fashionable mourning. He was too ignorant in such matters to discern
that the fashion was one of an earlier date, or that the mourning had
been hastily gathered from cedar chests by Kesiah. The impression he
seized and carried away was one of elegance and remoteness; and the
little lonely figure in the midst of the green ridges bore no relation
in his mind to the girl in the red jacket, who had responded so ardently
to his kiss. The sunlight falling in flecks through the network of
locust boughs deepened the sense of unreality with which he watched her.