The Miller Of Old Church — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Miller Of Old Church
John Stuart Mill · en
The reasons were all there. He had them labelled and assorted in his
mind, ready for instant reference should they be required. Sleepless
nights had gone to the preparation of them, and yet--and yet--in his
heart he knew, beyond contradiction, that he was wedding Judy because
his pity had once made a fool of him. He had acted from the loftiest
motives when he had asked her to marry him, and twenty-four hours later
he would have given ten years of his life to have been able to eliminate
those lofty motives from his character. To go back on her was, of
course, out of the question. In the history of Old Church no man--with
the exception of two drunkards and old Mr. Jonathan Gay--had ever
gone back on a woman. With girls it was different, since they, being
sentimentally above the proneness to error as well as practically below
the liability for maintenance, might play fast and loose wherever
their fleeting fancy alighted. But in the case of his unhappy sex an
honourable inclination once yielded to, was established forever. His
sacrifice was sanctioned by custom. There was no escape since it was
tradition that held him by the throat.
His business in Applegate, which included a careful matching of Judy's
braid, took up the entire morning; and it was dinner time before he
turned back to the little inn, known as Raleigh's Tavern, at which the
farmers usually stopped for meals. Here, after washing his hands in a
basin on the back porch, he hastily smoothed his hair, and passed into
the small paved court in front of the tavern. As he approached the
doorway, the figure of a young woman in a black dress, which he felt
instinctively did not "belong" to Applegate, came down the short steps,
and paused an instant to caress a large dog that was lying in the
sunshine near the entrance. The next minute, while he fell back, hat in
hand, behind a pile of boxes in the yard, he heard his name called in
a familiar voice, and lifting his eyes found himself face to face with
Molly.
"Abel, aren't you going to speak to me?" she asked, and moving a step
toward him, held out both hands with an impulsive gesture.