The Miller Of Old Church — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Miller Of Old Church
John Stuart Mill · en
She turned away, glanced back an instant later to make sure that they
had entered the house, and then gathering up her Sunday skirt of blue
Henrietta cloth, started in a rapid run back along the path to the
willows. When she reached a sheltered nook, formed by a lattice of
boughs, she found Gay walking impatiently back and forth, with his hands
in his pockets and the anxious frown still on his forehead. At sight of
her, his face cleared and he held out his arms.
"My beauty!--I'd just given you up. Five minutes more by my watch, and I
should have gone."
"I met Abel and Archie as I was coming and they made me go back with
them," she answered, placing her hand on her bosom, which rose and fell
with her fluttering breath. It was characteristic of their different
temperaments that, although he had seen her every day for three weeks,
he still met her with outstretched arms, which she still evaded.
Since that first stolen kiss, she had held off from him, alluring yet
unapproachable, and this gentle, but obstinate, resistance had inflamed
him to a point which he admitted, in the cold grey morning before he had
breakfasted, to have become positively dangerous. Ardently susceptible
to beauty, the freedom of his life had bred in him an almost equal
worship of the unattainable. If that first kiss had stirred his fancy,
her subsequent repulse had established her influence. The stubborn
virtue, which was a part of the inherited fibre of her race, had
achieved a result not unworthy of the most finished coquette. Against
his desire for possession there battled the instinctive chastity that
was woven into the structure of Sarah Revercomb's granddaughter. Hardly
less violent than the natural impulse against which it warred, it gave
Blossom an advantage, which the obvious weakness of her heart had
helped to increase. It was as though she yearned toward him while she
resisted--as though she feared him most in the moment that she repulsed
him.
"Good God! how beautiful you are and how cold!" he exclaimed.
"I am not cold. How can you say so when you know it isn't true?"
"I've been waiting here an hour, half dead with impatience, and you
won't so much as let me touch you for a reward."
"I can't--you oughtn't to ask me, Mr. Jonathan."
"Could a single kiss hurt you? I kissed you once."
"It's--it's because you kissed me once that you mustn't kiss me again."
"You mean you didn't like it?"
"What makes you so unkind? You know it isn't that."
"Then why do you refuse?" He was in an irritable humour, and this
irritation showed in his face, in his movements, in the short, abrupt
sound of his words.
"I can't let you do it because--because I didn't know what it was like
until that first time," she protested, while two large tears rolled from
her eyes.