"Well, I've noticed that they have a particular likin' for the worthless
over the hardworkin' sort," remarked old Adam, "an' when it comes to
that, I've known a woman to git clear set against a man on o'count of
nothin' bigger than a chaw of tobaccy."
"It's the way of the sex," said Solomon Hatch. "When I was courtin' my
wife I was obleeged to promise her I'd give up the habit befo' she'd
keep company with me."
"An' you began agin, I low, after the ceremony was spoken."
"To be sure--'twas a courtin' promise, not a real one."
"It happened the same in my case, some sixty years or mo' ago," said old
Adam. "Thar was two of us arter Minnie--for the matter of that, it
never entered my head to court her till I saw that Jacob Halloween--yo'
grandpa, Jim--had begun to git soft on her. It's safer to trust another
man's jedgment than yo' own I said to myself, an' I started into the
race. Well, Jacob was the pious, churchgoin' sort that she liked--but he
would chaw in season an' out of it--thar was some as said he chawed even
when he was sleepin'--an' a woman so out an' out with tobaccy you never
set eyes on. Sez she to me, 'Adam, you will give up the weed for me,
won't you?' An' sez I, 'Why, to be sartin sure, I will,' meanin' of
course, while I was courtin'. Then she answered, 'Well, he's a Christian
an' a churchgoer an' you ain't, but if he was the Angel Gabriel himself,
Adam, an' was a chawer, I wouldn't marry him. The men may make their
habits, Adam,' she said, 'but it takes the women to break 'em.' Lord!
Lord! durin' that courtin' season my mouth would water so for a wad of
tobaccy that I'd think my tongue was goin' to ketch fire."
"I shouldn't like to have stood in yo' shoes when you began agin,"
remarked Betsey Bottom.
"Oh, she larned, she larned," chuckled the elder, knocking the ashes out
of his pipe on the hearth and then treading them under his boot. "'Tis
amazin' what a deal of larnin' women have to do arter they're married."
"If they'd done it befo' thar's precious few of 'em that would ever set
foot into the estate!" retorted Betsey. "Thar ain't many men that are
worth the havin' when you git close up to 'em. Every inch of distance
betwixt 'em is an inch added to thar attractions."
"Now, I've noticed that in my own case," observed Jim Halloween sadly,
"no woman yet has ever let me come with kissin' distance--the nearer I
git, the further an' further they edges away. It's the curse of my luck,
I reckon, for it seems as if I never open my mouth to propose that I
don't put my foot in it."