Without a word she looked, then fell back on my arm. It was not life
which forsook her face, and left her whole sweet body inert--that I
could have borne, for did she not merit death who had killed my love,
killed me?--but happiness, the glow of youthful blood, the dreams of a
youthful brain. And seeing this, seeing that the heart I thought a
child's heart had gone down in this shipwreck, I felt my anger swell and
master me body and soul, and before I knew it, I was towering over her
and she was cowering at my feet, crushed and with hands held up in
defense, hands that had been like rose-leaves in my grasp, futile hands,
but raised now in entreaty for her life to me, to me who had loved her.
Why did they not move me? Why did my muscles tighten instead of relax? I
do not know; I had never thought myself a cruel man, but at that instant
I felt that this toy of my strong manhood had done harm far beyond its
value, and that it would comfort me to break it and toss it far aside;
only I could not bear the cry which now left her lips:
"I am so young! not yet, not yet, Philo! I am so young! Let me live a
little while."
Was it a woman's plea, conscious of the tenderness she appealed to, or
only a child's instinctive grasping after life, just life? If it were
the first, it would be easy to finish; but a child's terror, a child's
longing--that pulled hard at my manhood, and under the possibility, my
own arm fell.
Instantly her head drooped. No defense did she utter; no further plea
did she make; she simply waited.
"You have deserved death." This I managed to utter. "But if you will
swear to obey me, you shall not pay your forfeit till you have had a
further taste of life. Not in my house; there is not sufficient freedom
within its walls for you; but in the broad world, where people dance and
sing and grow old at their leisure, without duty and without care. For
three months you shall have this, and have it to your heart's content.
Then you shall come back to me my true wife, if your heart so prompts;
if not, to tell me of your failure and quit me for ever. But--" Here I
fear my voice grew terrible, for her hands instinctively rose again.
"Those three months must be lived unstained. As you are in God's sight
this hour, I demand of you to swear that, if you forget this or
disregard it, or for any cause subject my name to dishonor, that you
will return unbidden at the first moment your reason returns to you, to
take what punishment I will. On this condition I send you away to-night.
Aline, will you promise?"
She did not answer; but her face rose. I did not understand its look.
There was pathos in it, and something else. That something else troubled
me.
"Are you dissatisfied?" I asked. "Is the time too short? Do you want
more months for dancing?"
She shook her head and the little hands rose again:
"Do not send me away," she faintly entreated; "I don't know why--but
I--had rather stay."
"With me? Impossible. Are you ready to promise, Aline?"