In the dead, unhappy night, when the rain is on the roof, with what
vivid distinctness does memory recall scenes and hopes that are past.
Poor Grace hears the winds and the rain as they hold their midnight
revels outside, and shudders as the thronging ghosts of memory flit by.
Her brief and exquisite wedded happiness, her love for the dark-eyed
husband who has wronged her so cruelly--she shudders and tries to put
these thoughts away.
But she cannot. She has tried before. So long as her child was left,
with "baby fingers" to "press him from the mother's breast," she had
tried to put her husband away from her heart; tried to be content
with his darling little prototype; tried with all the strength of her
resolute young soul to crush her love for him. But there are some
things that the strongest and bravest of us cannot do. Love is "beyond
us all;" the battle is not always to the strong; success does not
always crown the bravest efforts. It is something to know that they who
fail are sometimes braver than they who succeed.
Now, when the little child that was such a darling comfort to her sad,
lonely life is so rudely wrested from that yearning heart, her thoughts
irresistibly center about the father of her child. She had loved her
baby best--the maternal love was more deeply developed in her than the
conjugal--but even then her husband had been blessed with a fervent,
tender worship that is the overflow of only such deep, strong natures
as hers--natures prodigal of sweetness. Latterly, when the terrible
news that he had six months before joined the army of France had come
to her with all its terrible possibilities, she had only begun to
fathom the depths of her unsounded love for him. It amazed herself--she
put it from her with angry pain, and rushed into the whirl of social
life to keep herself from thinking; wore the mask of smiles above her
pain, and sunned herself in the light of admiring eyes, but though
fashion and pride and station bowed low to the Senator's deserted
wife, acknowledging her calm supremacy still, though sympathy and
curiosity--(softly be it spoken) met her with open arms, though the
wine-cup circled in the gay and brilliant coterie, it held no Lethean
draught for her, and weary and heart-sick she turned from it all, and
sought oblivion in the seclusion of home, and the ever welcome company
of cheerful Lulu Clendenon. But her heart would not be satisfied thus.
Failing in its earthly love and hope, true to itself through all her
mistakes and follies, the heaven-born soul yearned for more than all
this to fill up its aching vacancy, for more than all this to bind
round the tortured heart and keep it from breaking.