The shadow between them; $b or, A blighted name — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The shadow between them; $b or, A blighted name
John Stuart Mill · en
She was obliged to lean against him as he had bidden her, for her head
was too dizzy to hold upright, and, as it rested heavily against his
shoulder, a delicious thrill of unconquerable joy went through her at
contact with him again.
She could no more help loving him, and thrilling in his presence, than
she could help breathing.
She felt an insane desire to throw her arms about him and rest her
weary head on his breast, sobbing out repentantly:
“Oh, love me, love me, love me! I cannot live without you! I was mad
when I sent you away!”
But the spectres of her dead cousin and her old grandfather came coldly
between these passionate yearnings and stayed the wild impulse of love,
murmuring menacingly:
“Between your hearts there is a great cloud.”
She shuddered as with fear, and he felt in her nearness the thrill that
shook her graceful form. Turning his face toward her for a moment, he
said coldly:
“You are uneasy over Mr. Hamilton’s fate. Do not borrow trouble before
it comes halfway to meet you. It is very probable that the horses have
been stopped ere now, and no doubt he is safe. It is always better to
sit still during a runaway than to spring out. You acted imprudently,
and might have been killed.”
“I should not have cared!” she half sobbed under her breath, and the
grave dark-blue eyes looked at her in frank surprise.
“Those are strange words from you, Miss Somerville. You have
everything--youth, beauty, wealth, and love to make you desire life,”
he replied gently.
It was on her lips to cry out to him that he was mistaken about the
love. She did not know that Doctor Ludington believed her engaged to be
married to Reginald Hamilton, according to the gossip of the world.
She did not dream that a jealousy as cruel as death was tugging at his
heart, as he thought of her belonging to another.
The latent feeling he believed to be dead, slain by time and despair,
had suddenly flamed into passionate life again.
Masking his feelings under a calm and cold exterior, he did not permit
Eva to suspect them, and her swift glance at his handsome face showed
it so well under guard that she felt, with a sudden treacherous sinking
of the heart, that he despised her now.
It had never occurred to her before that he could forget any more than
herself their brief, broken love dream.
Somehow it made her pain more cruel to feel that he loved her no
longer; that he had broken loose from the shackles of their hopeless
love. It might be selfish, but she could not help it any more than she
could help living.
It struck her speechless, the pain of it, and she could find no words
to answer him. So keen was the pang that consciousness deserted her
again.
He felt the yielding form droop more heavily against him, and looking
down saw that she had fainted.
Fortunately, they were at her door, and springing out upon the snowy
sidewalk he took the limp form tenderly into his arms and carried her
up the steps.