"But such haste partakes of the nature of flight," he objected. "I
don't really see the need for it."
"You wanted to get away before," she reminded him. "You asked me to
help you. This is the only way in which I can help. If you delay it
will be embarrassing for me. You are well enough to travel, aren't
you?"
Again she scrutinised him closely, with renewed anxiety in her gaze. He
did not look equal to a great deal of fatigue. Never before had he felt
so painfully conscious of weakness; but he made light of it.
"I'll be all right," he said. "It isn't that... Of course, if you
think it best, I am ready to start at once."
Her relief at his compliance was manifest. She was nervous and
unstrung, and the sudden reaction shook her fortitude. She turned her
face aside to hide its emotion from him; but he saw the tears in her
eyes, and was immensely disconcerted at the sight of this distress which
he failed altogether to understand. He advanced a few paces towards
her, hesitated, and stood irresolute, regarding her with an exasperated
sense of his own inadequacy.
"I say!" he said awkwardly. "Don't! ... Please, don't... I'm awfully
sorry that my presence has so upset you. I'll go. I'll go at once,
Honor." Then a doubt crept into his mind. He approached quite close to
her and put out a hand and touched her sleeve. "You want me to go?" he
asked.
"Yes," she cried quickly--"yes... Of course." She moved away. "Drive
straight for the town," she added. "And don't spare the horse."
Without once looking at him she left the rondavel, hiding her tear-wet
face from him, and hurrying away in the sunshine with steps as fleet as
those she had used in coming, but followed a less direct route for the
purpose of allaying suspicion as to where she had been in the event of
meeting any one on the way back. She had done her utmost for him; his
safety was now his own affair.
Matheson remained for a while inactive, watching her retreating figure.
He followed her to the doorway, and stood in the brilliant sunshine,
looking after her, as she sped away with never a backward glance, the
gold of the sunlight upon her and the morning wind ruffling her hair.
Innumerable doubts troubled him while he stood there, doubts which she
had set fermenting in his brain. She was not happy. The change in her
was very marked. When he had first met her she had been afire with
enthusiasm and eager interest in life; now she was a woman, grave and
thoughtful, on whom cares and responsibilities pressed heavily. She had
sold her birthright of joy, sacrificing it to a long-cherished dream of
vengeance; and already she was discovering how unsatisfying was the
bargain she had made. Nel was right. There was a predestination in
these matters beyond human control.