The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
She regarded me with a curious musing frown.
"Strange! Do you know what _I_ felt?"
I shook my head smiling, and pressed my lips on the soft small hand I
held.
"Nothing!" she said, with a kind of hopeless gesture--"I assure you,
absolutely nothing! I cannot feel. I am one of your modern women,--I can
only think,--and analyse."
"Think and analyse as much as you will, my queen,"--I answered
playfully--"if you will only think you can be happy with me. That is all
I desire."
"Can you be happy with _me_?" she asked--"Wait--do not answer for a
moment, till I tell you what I am. You are altogether mistaken in me."
She was silent for some minutes, and I watched her anxiously. "I was
always intended for this"--she said slowly at last,--"this, to which I
have now come,--to be the property of a rich man. Many men have looked
at me with a view to purchase, but they could not pay the price my
father demanded. Pray do not look so distressed!--what I say is quite
true and quite commonplace,--all the women of the upper classes,--the
unmarried ones,--are for sale now in England as utterly as the
Circassian girls in a barbarian slave-market. I see you wish to protest,
and assure me of your devotion,--but there is no need of this,--I am
quite sure you love me,--as much as any man can love,--and I am content.
But you do not know me really,--you are attracted by my face and
form,--and you admire my youth and innocence, which you think I possess.
But I am not young--I am old in heart and feeling. I was young for a
little while at Willowsmere, when I lived among flowers and birds and
all the trustful honest creatures of the woods and fields,--but one
season in town was sufficient to kill my youth in me,--one season of
dinners and balls, and--fashionable novel-reading. Now _you_ have
written a book, and therefore you must know something about the duties
of authorship,--of the serious and even terrible responsibility writers
incur when they send out to the world books full of pernicious and
poisonous suggestion to contaminate the minds that have hitherto been
clean and undiseased. Your book has a noble motive; and for this I
admire it in many parts, though to me it is not as convincing as it
might have been. It is well written too; but I gained the impression
while reading it, that you were not altogether sincere yourself in the
thoughts you strove to inculcate,--and that therefore you just missed
what you should have gained."
"I am sure you are right,"--I said, with a wholesome pang of
humiliation--"The book is worthless as literature,--it is only the
'boom' of a season!"