The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
"I shall never change, Sibyl," I answered--"I love you,--I shall always
love you. But I wish you would not analyse yourself so pitilessly,--you
have such strange ideas--"
"You think them strange?" she said--"You should not,--in these 'new
women' days! I believe that, thanks to newspapers, magazines and
'decadent' novels, I am in all respects eminently fitted to be a wife!"
and she laughed bitterly--"There is nothing in the rôle of marriage that
I do not know, though I am not yet twenty. I have been prepared for a
long time to be sold to the highest bidder, and what few silly notions I
had about love,--the love of the poets and idealists,--when I was a
dreamy child at Willowsmere, are all dispersed and ended. Ideal love is
dead,--and worse than dead, being out of fashion. Carefully instructed
as I have been in the worthlessness of everything but money, you can
scarcely be surprised at my speaking of myself as an object of sale.
Marriage for me _is_ a sale, as far as my father is concerned,--for you
know well enough that however much you loved me or I loved you, he would
never allow me to marry you if you were not rich, and richer than most
men. I want you to feel that I fully recognize the nature of the bargain
struck; and I ask you not to expect a girl's fresh, confiding love from
a woman as warped in heart and mind as I am!"
"Sibyl,"--I said earnestly--"You wrong yourself; I am sure you wrong
yourself! You are one of those who can be in the world yet not of it;
your mind is too open and pure to be sullied, even by contact with evil
things. I will believe nothing you say against your own sweet and noble
character,--and, Sibyl, let me again ask you not to distress me by this
constant harping on the subject of my wealth, or I shall be inclined to
look upon it as a curse,--I should love you as much if I were poor----"
"Oh, you might love me"--she interrupted me, with a strange smile--"but
you would not dare to say so!"
I was silent. Suddenly she laughed, and linked her arms caressingly
round my neck.
"There, Geoffrey!" she said--"I have finished my discourse,--my bit of
Ibsenism, or whatever other ism affects me,--and we need not be
miserable about it. I have said what was in my mind; I have told you the
truth, that in heart I am neither young nor innocent. But I am no worse
than all my 'set' so perhaps you had better make the best of me. I
please your fancy, do I not?"
"My love for you cannot be so lightly expressed, Sibyl!" I answered in
rather a pained tone.