The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
"Stop there!" she said quickly, her eyes flashing as she spoke--"My
ideas have been repugnant to you, you say? What have _you_ done, you as
my husband, to change those ideas? Have you not the same base passions
as I?--and do you not give way to them as basely? What have I seen in
you from day to day that I should take you as an example? You are
master here, and you rule with all the arrogance wealth can give,--you
eat, drink and sleep,--you entertain your acquaintances simply that you
may astonish them by the excess of luxury in which you indulge,--you
read and smoke, shoot and ride, and there an end,--you are an ordinary,
not an exceptional man. Do you trouble to ask what is wrong with
_me_?--do you try, with the patience of a great love, to set before me
nobler aims than those I have consciously or unconsciously imbibed?--do
you try to lead me, an erring, passionate, misguided woman, into what I
dream of as the light,--the light of faith and hope which alone gives
peace?"
And suddenly, burying her head in the pillows of the couch on which she
leaned, she broke into a fit of smothered weeping.
I drew my cigar from my mouth and stared at her helplessly. It was about
an hour after dinner, and a warm soft autumnal evening,--I had eaten and
drunk well, and I was drowsy and heavy-brained.
"Dear me!" I murmured--"you seem very unreasonable, Sibyl! I suppose you
are hysterical...."
She sprang up from the couch,--her tears dried on her cheeks as though
by sheer heat of the crimson glow that flushed them, and she laughed
wildly.
"Yes, that is it!" she exclaimed--"Hysteria!--nothing else! It is
accountable for everything that moves a woman's nature. A woman has no
right to have any emotions that cannot be cured by smelling-salts!
Heart-ache?--pooh!--cut her stay-lace! Despair and a sense of sin and
misery?--nonsense!--bathe her temples with vinegar! An uneasy
conscience?--ah!--for an uneasy conscience there is nothing better than
sal volatile! Woman is a toy,--a breakable fool's toy;--and when she
_is_ broken, throw her aside and have done with her,--don't try to piece
together the fragile rubbish!"
She ceased abruptly, panting for breath,--and before I could collect my
thoughts or find any words wherewith to reply, a tall shadow suddenly
darkened the embrasure of the window, and a familiar voice enquired--
"May I, with the privilege of friendship, enter unannounced?"
I started up.
"Rimânez!" I cried, seizing him by the hand.
"Nay, Geoffrey, my homage is due here first,"--he replied, shaking off
my grasp, and advancing to Sibyl, who stood perfectly still where she
had risen up in her strange passion--"Lady Sibyl, am I welcome?"
"Can you ask it!" she said, with an enchanting smile, and in a voice
from which all harshness and excitement had fled; "More than welcome!"
Here she gave him both her hands which he respectfully kissed. "You
cannot imagine how much I have longed to see you again!"