The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
"I have heard you!" I said--"I have seen you! I have watched you kneel
before my true friend, my loyal comrade there, and try your best to make
him as vile as yourself! I am that poor fool, your husband,--that blind
egoist whose confidence you sought to win--and to betray! I am the
unhappy wretch whose surplus of world's cash has bought for him in
marriage a shameless courtezan! You dare to talk of love? You profane
its very name! Good God!--what are such women as you made of? You throw
yourselves into our arms,--you demand our care--you exact our
respect--you tempt our senses--you win our hearts,--and then you make
fools of us all! Fools, and worse than fools,--you make us men without
feeling, conscience, faith, or pity! If we become criminals, what
wonder! If we do things that shame our sex, is it not because you set us
the example? God--God! I, who loved you,--yes, loved you in spite of all
that my marriage with you taught me,--I, who would have died to save you
from a shadow of suspicion,--I am the one out of all the world you
choose to murder by your treachery!"
I loosened my grasp of her,--she recovered her self-possession by an
effort, and looked at me straightly with cold unfeeling eyes.
"What did you marry me for?" she demanded--"For my sake or your own?"
I was silent,--too choked with wrath and pain to speak. All I could do
was to hold out my hand to Lucio, who grasped it with a cordial and
sympathetic pressure. Yet ... I fancied he smiled!
"Was it because you desired to make me happy out of pure love for me?"
pursued Sibyl--"Or because you wished to add dignity to your own
position by wedding the daughter of an Earl? Your motives were not
unselfish,--you chose me simply because I was the 'beauty' of the day
whom London men stared at and talked of,--and because it gave you a
certain 'prestige' to have me for your wife, in the same way as it gave
you a footing with Royalty to be the owner of the Derby-winner. I told
you honestly what I was before our marriage,--it made no effect upon
your vanity and egoism. I never loved you,--I could not love you, and I
told you so. You have heard, so you say, all that has passed between me
and Lucio,--therefore you know why I married you. I state it boldly to
your face,--it was that I might have your intimate friend for my lover.
That you should pretend to be scandalized at this is absurd; it is a
common position of things in France, and is becoming equally common in
England. Morality has always been declared unnecessary for men,--it is
becoming equally unnecessary for women!"
I stared at her, amazed at the glibness of her speech, and the cool
convincing manner in which she spoke, after her recent access of passion
and excitement.