The Sorrows of Satan: or, The Strange Experience of One Geoffrey Tempest, Millionaire: A Romance
John Stuart Mill · en
"From the moment I saw Lucio Rimânez"--went on Sibyl's 'dying
speech'--"I abandoned myself to love and the desire of love. I had
heard of him before from my father who had (as I learned to my
shame) been indebted to him for monetary assistance. On the very
night we met, my father told me quite plainly that now was my chance
to get 'settled' in life. 'Marry Rimânez or Tempest, whichever you
can most easily catch,' he said--'The prince is fabulously
wealthy--but he keeps up a mystery about himself and no one knows
where he actually comes from,--besides which he dislikes women;--now
Tempest has five millions and seems an easy-going fool,--I should
say you had better go for Tempest.' I made no answer and gave no
promise either way. I soon found out however that Lucio did not
intend to marry,--and I concluded that he preferred to be the lover
of many women, instead of the husband of one. I did not love him any
the less for this,--I only resolved that I would at least be one of
those who were happy enough to share his passion. I married the man
Tempest, feeling that like many women I knew, I should when safely
wedded, have greater liberty of action,--I was aware that most
modern men prefer an amour with a married woman to any other kind of
_liaison_,--and I thought Lucio would have readily yielded to the
plan I had pre-conceived. But I was mistaken,--and out of this
mistake comes all my perplexity, pain and bewilderment I cannot
understand why my love,--beloved beyond all word or
thought,--should scorn me and repulse me with such bitter loathing!
It is such a common thing now-a-days for a married woman to have her
own lover, apart from her husband _de convenance_! The writers of
books advise it,--I have seen the custom not only excused but
advocated over and over again in long and scientific articles that
are openly published in leading magazines. Why then should I be
blamed or my desires considered criminal? As long as no public
scandal is made, what harm is done? I cannot see it,--it is not as
if there were a God to care,--the scientists say there is no God!
* * * * *
I was very startled just now. I thought I heard Lucio's voice
calling me. I have walked through the rooms looking everywhere, and
I opened my door to listen, but there is no one. I am alone. I have
told the servant not to disturb me till I ring; ... I shall never
ring! Now I come to think of it, it is singular that I have never
known who Lucio really is. A prince, he says--and that I can well
believe,--though truly princes now-a-days are so plebeian and common
in look and bearing that he seems too great to belong to so shabby a
fraternity. From what kingdom does he come?--to what nation does he
belong? These are questions which he never answers save equivocally.