Esme's accident, and the contemporaneous and mysterious disappearance of
Hallam, brought Rose in haste and at great personal inconvenience round
to Cape Town. She was terribly worried about her sister, and enormously
concerned at Hallam's departure at a time when it seemed to her his
presence was urgently needed.
Her concern deepened as the days passed, the weeks passed, and still
there was no word from him, no news of his whereabouts. The information
which the Garfields furnished on their return gave a sinister aspect to
the look of things. And Esme as she got better was continually asking
for her husband. She fretted at his absence; and when ultimately she
was allowed to have the letter he had left for her, though she ceased to
ask for him, she fretted more than before.
The contents of the letter, which she refused to allow any one else to
read, upset her greatly. It elucidated nothing of the mystery of his
complete disappearance, but merely informed her that he had gone away
for an indefinite time. She felt assured from her knowledge of him that
he would never return until he was master of himself.
Her heart was nigh to breaking with her longing for him, and with pity,
pity for the suffering which she knew he was enduring: his agony of mind
must be terrible. She wanted to see him, to put her arms about him and
bid him think no more of what was past. It was grievous to her to think
of him alone with heart and mind heavy with sorrow and remorse. If only
she could be with him she would help him to forget. The injury to
herself seemed to her so small a part of the trouble; it was so entirely
accidental: largely her own carelessness was responsible for her fall;
if she had been on her guard it need not have happened. She believed
that if she could talk to him she could make him see this. She wanted
to help him, to comfort him. And she wanted him beside her, wanted his
love, his presence, with a feverish urgency that burned like a fever in
her veins, and left her sick with unsatisfied longing as the days
dragged by without bringing him, without bringing news of him even. If
he had died he could not have vanished more completely out of her life.
Her sister urged her to return with her to the Bay until she was
stronger and more fitted to be alone; but Esme preferred to remain in
her own home.
"Any day he may return," she said. "I would not like him to come back
and find me gone."
"He would understand," Rose said sensibly. "At least he would know
where to look for you."
She did not herself believe that her brother-in-law would return. The
whole affair was to her mysterious and inexplicable.
"Did you quarrel with Paul?" she asked bluntly.
Esme lifted astonished eyes to the questioner's face.
"Quarrel!" she repeated, aghast at the mere suggestion, and too
genuinely surprised to leave any doubt as to the amicable conditions of
her relations with her husband in Rose's mind. "Paul and I never
quarrelled over anything."