The Substitute Millionaire — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The Substitute Millionaire
John Stuart Mill · en
No more was said about the matter, but Jack continued to think about
it. "Bobo put the idea into my head himself," he considered. "Lock
him up! Why not? He's no better than a madman for the time being."
They patched up a temporary truce. Bobo agreed not to try to see
Miriam that night, provided Jack would let him make a date with her
over the telephone. He called her up in Jack's hearing.
"I'll be there to-morrow at eleven. No, I have not changed. Have him
there at eleven."
Jack made no further objections. Had Bobo been wiser, his friend's
apparent complaisance would have aroused his suspicions.
The two young men dined together, and spent the evening at the theater
in perfect amity. Before going to sleep that night Jack perfected his
plans.
"Having plenty of money certainly simplifies things," he said to
himself.
Jack was always up at least an hour before Bobo. His first act in the
morning was to telephone Mrs. Lizzie Regan, his landlady in humbler
days, and still his faithful friend.
"Mrs. Regan," said he, "I need your help. Can you give up to-day to
me?"
"Sure, Mr. Nor-Robinson, my dear! Anything to oblige."
"Well, come over to the Madagascar, and have breakfast with me."
"What, me! Eat in the Madagascar! I'll have to dress."
"Heavens, no! I'm in a hurry! We'll eat in our suite."
"And me a respectable widow woman! Laws, what would the neighbors say!"
"But you'll come?"
"Will a cat lap cream, my dear!"
While he waited for her, Jack collected every scrap of wearing apparel
in Bobo's room, and the closet adjoining, and carrying it all to
another clothes closet, locked it up and pocketed the key. Bobo slept
the sleep of the hearty eater throughout. Jack then cut the wires of
the telephone in his room, and removed the instrument. Finally he
locked the three doors leading out of Bobo's rooms, and carried away
the keys.
Bobo still slept on while Jack and Mrs. Regan discussed an excellent
breakfast in the Dutch room. The honest lady was greatly impressed by
her surroundings.
"Sure, it's a proud day for me to be eating in such style along with
one of my own boys that I once passed the beans to. Sure if I'd
foreseen this day, I would have given you two eggs to your breakfast,
though I will say I never tried to stint the normal appetite of a man!"
"My appetite must have been abnormal, I guess."
"Go along! I lost money on you regular!"
"Maybe you won't be so glad you came to-day, when you learn what I want
you to do."
"Anything short of murder, my dear. What is it?"
Jack told her the story of Miriam and Bobo--with reservations.
"Sure, if it was me, I'd let her marry him. Maybe it would teach the
hizzy a lesson. But I suppose you're right. If more hot-blooded young
people were locked up at such times, marriage wouldn't be such a joke
in the vaudeville houses."