She found the dark green Atlas 'bus standing ready by the curb and
waited until it was just about to start, looking impatiently up and down
the long vistas of the empty Sunday street, and then jumped hurriedly in
with the polite half-irritated resignation of the man about town who
finds himself stranded in a godforsaken part of London, and steered
herself carefully against the swaying of the vehicle along between the
rows of seated forms, keeping her eyes carefully averted and fixed upon
distant splendours. Securing an empty corner she sat down provisionally,
on the edge of the seat, occupying the least possible space, clear of
her neighbour, her eyes turned inwards on splendours still raking the
street, her person ready to leap up at the sight of a crawling
hansom--telling herself in a drawl that she felt must somehow be audible
to an observant listener how damnable it was that there were not hansoms
in these remarkable backwoods--so damned inconvenient when your own
barrow is laid up at Windover's. But a hansom might possibly appear....
She turned to the little corner window at her side and gazed with fierce
abstraction down the on-coming street. Presently she would really be in
a hansom. Miss Szigmondy had mentioned hansoms ... supposing she should
have to pay her share? Her heart beat rapidly and her face flushed as
she thought of the fourpence in her purse. She would not be able even to
offer. But if Miss Szigmondy were alone she would take cabs. There would
be no need to mention it. The ambling trit-trot of the vehicle gradually
prevailed over the mood in which she had dressed. She was becoming aware
of her companions. Presently she would be taking them all in and getting
into a world that had nothing to do with her afternoon. Turning aside so
that her face could not be seen and her own vision might be restricted
to the roadway rolling slowly upon her through the little end window she
dreamed of contriving somehow or other to save money for hansoms.
Hansoms were a necessary part of the worldly life. Floating about in a
hansom in the west-end, in the season was like nothing else in the
world. It changed you, your feelings, manner, bearing, everything. It
made you part of a wonderful exclusive difficult triumphant life, a
streak of it, going in and out. It cut you off from all personal
difficulties, made you drop your personality and lifted you right out
into the freedom of a throng of happy people, a great sunlit tide
singing, all the same laughing song, wave after wave, advancing, in open
sunlight. It took you on to a great stage, lit and decked, where you
were lost, everything was lost and forgotten in the masque. Nothing
personal could matter so long as you were there and kept there, day and
night. Everyone was invisible and visionless, united in the spectacle,
gilding and hiding the underworld in a brilliant embroidery ...
continuously.