This is what is meant by a purple twilight. Lamps alight, small round
lights, each in place, shedding no radiance, white day lingering on the
stone pillars of the great crescent, the park railings distinct, the
trees shrouded but looming very large and permanent, the air wide and
high and purple, darkness alight and warm. Far far away beyond the
length of two endless months is Christmas. This kind of day lived for
ever. It stood still. The whole year, funny little distant fussy thing
stood still in this sort of day. You could take it in your hand and look
at it. Nobody could touch this. People and books and all those things
that men had done, in the British Museum were a crackling noise,
outside.... Les yeux gris, vont au paradis. That was the two poplars
standing one each side of the little break in the railings, shooting up;
the space between them shaped by their shapes, leading somewhere. I
_must_ have been through there; it's the park. I don't remember. It
isn't. It's waiting. One day I will go through. Les yeux gris, vont au
paradis. Going along, along, the twilight hides your shabby clothes.
They are not shabby. They are clothes you go along in, funny; jolly.
Everything's here, any bit of anything, clear in your brain; you can
look at it. What a terrific thing a person is; bigger than anything. How
_funny_ it is to be a person. You can never not have been a person.
Bouleversement. It's a fait bouleversant. _Christ_-how-rummy. It's
enough. Du, Heilige, rufe dein Kind zurück, ich habe genossen dass
irdische Glück; ich habe geleibt und gelebet.... Oh let the solid earth
not fail beneath my feet, until I am quite quite sure.... Hullo, old
Euston Road, beloved of my soul, my own country, my native heath.
There'll still be a glimmer on the table when I light the lamp ... how
shall I write it down, the _sound_ the little boy made as he carefully
carried the milk jug ... going along, trusted, _trusted_, you could see
it, you could see his mother. His legs came along, little loose feet,
looking after themselves, pottering, behind him. All his body was in the
hand carrying the milk jug. When he had done carrying the milk jug he
would run; running along the pavement amongst people, with cool round
eyes not looking at anything. Where the crowd prevented his running he
would jog up and down as he walked, until he could run again, bumping
solemnly up and down amongst the people; boy.
4
The turning of the key in the latch was lively with the vision of the
jumping boy. The flare of the match in the unlit hall lit up eternity.
The front door was open, eternity poured in and on up the stairs. At one
of those great staircase windows where the last of the twilight stood a
sudden light of morning would not be surprising. Of course a letter;
curly curious statements on the hall-stand.