The tunnel : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 4 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The tunnel : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 4
John Stuart Mill · en
"When my rector sent me to look up Miss Dear" he began heavily "I
thought it was an ordinary parish case and I was shocked beyond measure
to find a delicately nurtured ladylike girl in such a situation. I came
back here to my rooms and found myself unable to enter into my usual
employments. I was haunted by the thought of what that lonely girl who
might have been one of my own sisters--must be suffering and enduring
and I returned to give what relief I could without waiting to report the
case to my rector for ordinary parish relief. I am not dependent on my
stipend and I felt that I could not withhold the help she ought to have.
I saw her landlady and made arrangements as to her feeding and called
each day myself to take little things to cheer her--as a rule when my
day's work was done. I have never come in contact with a more pathetic
case. It did not occur to me for ... a moment that she viewed my visits
and the help I was so glad to be able to give ... in ... in any other
light ... that she viewed me as other than her parish priest."
"Of _course_ not" said Miriam violently.
"She is a singularly attractive and lovable nature. That to my mind
makes her helplessness and resourcelessness all the more painfully
pathetic. Her very name----" he paused gazing into the fire. "I told her
lately in one of her moments of deep depression that she would never
want for friends, that she would always inspire affection wherever she
went and that as long as I lived she should never know want. Last
week--the day I met you at the gates--finding her up and apparently very
much better, I suggested that it would be well to discontinue my visits
for the present, pointing out the social reasons and so forth.... I had
with me a letter from a very pleasant Home in Bournemouth. She had
hinted much earlier that a long rest in some place such as Bournemouth
was what she wanted to set her up in health. I am bound to tell you what
followed. She broke down completely, told me that, socially speaking, it
was too late to discontinue my visits; that people in the house were
already talking."
"People in _that_ house!"--you little simpleton--"Who? It is the most
monstrous thing I ever heard."
"Well--there you have the whole story. The poor girl's distress and
dependence were most moving. I have a very great respect for her
character and esteem for her personality--and of course I am pledged."
"I see," said Miriam narrowly regarding him. Do you want to be
saved--ought I to save you--why should I save you--it is a solution of
the whole thing and a use for your money--you won't marry her when you
know how ill she is.
"It is of course the immediate future that causes me anxiety and
disquietude. It is there I need your advice and help."
"I see. Is Miss Dear going to Bournemouth?"
"Well; that is just it. Now that the opportunity is there she seems
disinclined to avail herself of it. I hope that you will support me in
trying to persuade her."
"Of course. She _must_ go."