Through the school: The experiences of a mill boy in securing an education
John Stuart Mill · en
Carefully, painfully, hesitantly, I outlined Martin’s ambition to
Nora. More than that I explained the reasonableness of it, the prime
importance of it to their later fortunes. I tried to paint in glowing
terms the high station to which Nora, through Martin, might be exalted.
I leaped from point to point with enthusiastic eloquence, when the
theme had mastered me. But when I had concluded, and was looking
eagerly into the young woman’s face for a favorable sign, she gasped,
then in a cold voice she said:
“Oh, yes, it’s all right for _him_; but don’t I know that if he goes to
college he’ll meet other girls, better looking, better dressed, better
educated than I am, or can ever hope to be. Suppose I don’t break off
this engagement now, how am I to know that he’ll not forget me, throw
me over. Have you thought of that in all your plans?”
“Martin’s a man of his word, I suppose,” I protested.
“You’d find me true, Nora,” declared Martin.
“How long do you want me to wait?” demanded the girl.
“Only about seven or eight years or so!” haltingly explained Martin.
Nora leaped to her feet and stamped the floor, angrily, imperatively.
“You’d keep me waiting seven or eight years; waiting that long for you,
with all the risk! Not me! _Not for a thousand Martins!_”
That was her answer. We left her without more words. We left her
watching us, crying. Martin commented, when we were outside:
“Now, if she’d only had more faith in me and made me feel certain
of victory, maybe I’d given the whole thing up; but now--we’ll go
tomorrow, sure!”
The following evening we sat in the North Station in Boston, awaiting
the train that would carry us on an all-night journey. Every nerve
Martin possessed quivered with pessimism. He scolded, chided, lodged
complaints at everything and everybody. He tried to give me the
impression that I had made a prisoner of him; that he no longer had
any initiative of his own. As we sat in the waiting room he held
humorous monologues the purport of each one being, “What a fool I
am, at my age, to be running out among a lot of kids to get ready for
college. What a fool!” During that hour’s wait, he had resolved four
times to expend that fifty dollars in a ticket to the orange groves
of California. Finally, when he had been brooding in silence for some
moments, with a quick action he pulled out his pocket book, handed it
to me and said, savagely, “Here, take this and keep it safe. No matter
how I beg or what I say, don’t let me have it. To make things sure,
you’d better run and get me my ticket to the school; then I’ll be sure
and not turn back!”