Through the school: The experiences of a mill boy in securing an education
John Stuart Mill · en
“Make a man of yourself, old fellow!” I replied.
One moment of profound, tearful silence, with our hands tightly
clasped, and then I broke away and ran as fast as I could towards my
train, pretending by that action that I might be in danger of losing my
train, though my only intention was to be by myself, where, unseen, I
could baptize this parting from Thropper with unrestrained, heartfelt
tears.
The brick-paved and marvellously wide streets of Indianapolis were
oppressively hot when I arrived in the city, with Gloomer’s letter of
introduction to the sales-stable manager in my possession. I had to
spend two days in the city before a regular auction day arrived when
it would be possible for me to make a contract with the manager. I had
been told that the psychological time to approach the horse-dealer
would be at a sale when a carload or two of horses would be made up.
During my wait, I had to harvest my cash diligently, for fear of
getting stranded on the way. The four dollars in my pocket seemed
indescribably trivial when measured against the gigantic journey I had
between Indianapolis and New York City. I went on a side street and
searched among the cheaper lodging-houses until I found one whose red,
illuminated sign told me that beds there were fifteen cents a night.
I went in, talked with a wizened-faced tramp of a man, and was shown
up a flight of back stairs into a large, dirty-papered room, in which
stood a wooden bedstead with dampish, musty coverings. As I slept that
night, I was awakened by loud quarrelsome voices in the back kitchen,
and from what I heard, I realized that I was sleeping in a thieves’
lodging-house. After that, I found myself waking up in nervous fright
every few minutes, expecting to see the door open while some villain
entered with a knife or gun to strip me of what little I owned! It
was a night of horror, of wakeful, excited, dread. I was afraid to
sleep, and yet I kept waking, hour after hour, with the consciousness
that I had given in to sleep, and had made it possible for some one
to overpower me. Then early morning dawned, without any accident
befalling me, and I seized upon an excuse to leave. I went downstairs
very stealthily and confronted three ragged, evil-faced men who were
sitting on chairs, smoking with the landlord. I emptied a half-dozen
soiled collars on the table and said:
“I haven’t time to have these laundered, and don’t need them. You may
have them--if they fit. I wear fifteens. I have to leave early. Here
is my lodging fee for the night. Good morning!” and without another
word I rushed from the house, hoping that the men would imagine that my
excitement was due to fear of losing a train rather than to any dread
of them!