AGAINST THE WASTE OF LOVE.—Do we not blush when we surprise ourselves in a
state of violent aversion? Well, then, we should also blush when we find
ourselves possessed of strong affections on account of the injustice
contained in them. More: there are people who feel their hearts weighed
down and oppressed when some one gives them the benefit of his love and
sympathy to the extent that he deprives others of a share. The tone of his
voice reveals to us the fact that we have been specially selected and
preferred! but, alas! I am not thankful for being thus selected: I
experience within myself a certain feeling of resentment against him who
wishes to distinguish me in this way—he shall not love me at the expense
of others! I shall always try to look after myself and to endure myself,
and my heart is often filled to overflowing, and with some reason. To such
a man nothing ought to be given of which others stand so greatly in need.
489.
FRIENDS IN NEED.—We may occasionally remark that one of our friends
sympathises with another more than with us. His delicacy is troubled
thereby, and his selfishness is not equal to the task of breaking down his
feelings of affection: in such a case we should facilitate the separation
for him, and estrange him in some way in order to widen the distance
between us.—This is also necessary when we fall into a habit of thinking
which might be detrimental to him: our affection for him should induce us
to ease his conscience in separating himself from us by means of some
injustice which we voluntarily take upon ourselves.
490.
THOSE PETTY TRUTHS.—“You know all that, but you have never lived through
it—so I will not accept your evidence. Those ‘petty truths’—you deem them
petty because you have not paid for them with your blood!”—But are they
really great, simply because they have been bought at so high a price? and
blood is always too high a price!—“Do you really think so? How stingy you
are with your blood!”
491.
SOLITUDE, THEREFORE!—
_A._ So you wish to go back to your desert?
_B._ I am not a quick thinker; I must wait for myself a long time—it is
always later and later before the water from the fountain of my own ego
spurts forth, and I have often to go thirsty longer than suits my
patience. That is why I retire into solitude in order that I may not have
to drink from the common cisterns. When I live in the midst of the
multitude my life is like theirs, and I do not think like myself; but
after some time it always seems to me as if the multitude wished to banish
me from myself and to rob me of my soul. Then I get angry with all these
people, and afraid of them; and I must have the desert to become well
disposed again.
492.
UNDER THE SOUTH WIND.—