I should not have permitted him to depart in that
disposition; but, as soon as I saw him weep and heard your endearing
name come from his lips with so much tenderness, I was no longer in
apprehensions for his life; for nothing is less tender than despair.
The soft emotions of his heart now dictated an objection which I did
not foresee. He spoke to me of the condition in which you lately
suspected yourself to be; protesting he would rather die a thousand
deaths than abandon you to those perils that threatened you. I took
care to say nothing about the accident of your fall; telling him only
that your expectations had been disappointed, and that there were no
hopes of that kind. To which he answered with a deep sigh, there will
remain then no living monument of my happiness; it is gone, and----
Here his heart seemed too full for expression.
After this, it remained only for me to execute the latter part of your
commission; and for which I did not think, after the intimacy in which
you lived, that any preparation or apology was necessary. I mildly
reproached him, therefore, for the little care he had taken of his
affairs; telling him that you feared it would be long before he would
be more careful, and that in the mean time you commanded him to take
care of himself for your sake, and to that end to accept of that small
present which I had to make him from you. He seemed neither offended
at the offer, nor to make a merit of the acceptance; telling me only
that you well knew nothing could come from you that he should not
receive with transport; but that your precaution was superfluous: a
little house, which he had sold at Grandson, the remains of his small
patrimony, having furnished him with more money than he ever had at
any one time in his life. Besides, added he, I possess some talents
from which I can always draw a subsistence. I shall be happy to find,
in the exercise of them, some diversion from my misfortunes; and,
since I have seen the use to which Eloisa puts her superfluities, I
regard it as a treasure sacred to the widow and the orphan, whom
humanity will never permit me to neglect. I reminded him of his former
journey to the Valois, your letter, and the preciseness of your
orders. The same reasons, said I, now subsist----The same! interrupted
he, in an angry tone. The penalty of my refusal then, was never to see
her more; if she will permit me now to stay, I will use it on those
conditions. If I obey, why does she punish me? If I do not, what can
she do worse than banish me?----The same reasons! repeated he, with
some impatience. Our union then was just commenced; it is now at an
end; and I part from her perhaps for ever; there is no longer any
connection between us, we are going to be torn asunder. He pronounced
these last words with such an oppression of heart that I trembled with
the apprehensions of his relapsing into that disposition of mind, out
of which I had taken so much pains to extricate him. I affected