Clogged with a yoke of iron, which heaven does not impose on us, they
unite the body without the soul; the person and the inclinations are
separately engaged, and an unhappy victim is forced into guilt, by
obliging her to enter into a sacred engagement, which she wants, in
one respect or other, an essential power to fulfill. Are there not
some young women more discreet? Alas! I know there are. There are
those that have never loved? Peace be with them! They have withstood
that fatal passion! I would also have resisted it. They are more
virtuous! Do they love virtue better than I? Had it not been for you,
for you alone, I had ever loved it. Is it then true that I love virtue
no longer?----Is it you that have ruined me, and is it I who must
console you? But what will become of me? The consolation of friendship
is weak where that of love is wanting! Who then can give me comfort in
my affliction? With what a dreadful situation am I threatened? I who,
for having committed a crime, see myself ready to be plunged into a
new scene of guilt, by entering into an abhorred, and perhaps
inevitable, marriage! Where shall I find tears sufficient to mourn my
guilt and lament my lover, if I yield? On the other hand, how shall I
find resolution, in my present depression of mind, to resist?
Methinks, I see already the fury of an incensed father! I feel myself
already moved by the cries of nature, I feel my heart-strings torn by
the pangs of love. Deprived of thee, I am without resource, without
support, without hope; the past is disgraceful, the present
afflicting, and the future terrible. I thought I had done every thing
for our happiness, but we are only made more miserable, by preparing
the way for a more cruel separation. Our fleeting pleasure is past,
while the remorse it occasioned remains, and the shame which
overwhelms me is without alleviation.