When I was seated in the coach, I was a good deal perplexed with my
packet; as you had laid your injunctions on me to open it no where but
at home. Besides, I was unwilling to be subject to any interruption in
opening the packet, and indulging myself in that exquisite
satisfaction, I find in every thing that comes from you. I held it
therefore with an impatience and curiosity which I could scarce
contain: endeavouring to discover its contents through the covers, by
pressing it every way with my hands; from the continual motions of
which you would have thought the packet contained fire, and burned the
ends of my fingers. Not but that from its size, weight, and the
contents of your former letter, I had some suspicion; but then, how
could I conceive you to have found either the opportunity or the
artist? but what I then could not conceive, is one of the miracles of
almighty love: the more it surpasses my conception, the more it
enchants my heart, and one of the greatest pleasures it gives me
arises from my ignorance in the manner in which you could effect it.
Arrived at length at my lodgings, I flew to my chamber, locked the
door, threw myself, out of breath, into a chair, and with a trembling
hand broke open the seal. ’Twas then, Eloisa, I felt the first effect
of this powerful talisman. The palpitations of my heart increased at
every paper I unfolded; till coming to the last, I was forced to stop
and take breath a moment, before I could open it. It is open----my
suggestions are true,----it is so,----it is the portrait of Eloisa.
----O , my love! your divine image is before me; I gaze with rapture
on your charms! my lips, my heart, pay them the first homage, my
knees bend;----Again, my eyes are ravished with thy heavenly
beauties. How immediate, how powerful, is their magical effect! no
Eloisa, it requires not, as you pretend, a quarter of an hour to make
itself perceived; a minute, an instant suffices, to draw from my
breast a thousand ardent sighs, and to recall, with thy image, the
remembrance of my past happiness. Ah! why is the rapture of having
such a treasure in possession allayed with so much bitterness? how
lively is the representation it gives me of days that are no more!
I gaze on the portrait, I think I see Eloisa, and enjoy in
imagination those delightful moments, whose remembrance imbitters
my present hours; and which heaven in its anger bestowed on me only
to take them away. Alas! the next instant undeceives me; the pangs
of absence throb with increased violence, after the agreeable
delusion is vanished, and I am in the fate of those miserable
wretches, whose tortures are remitted only to render them the more
cruel. Heavens! what flames have not my eager eyes darted on this
unexpected object! how has the sight of it roused in me those
impetuous emotions, which used to be effected by your presence! O,
my Eloisa, were it possible for this talisman to affect your senses