This tender mother, whom your letters had already greatly affected,
begins to perceive from every circumstance, that your hearts are of a
superior mould, and that they are distinguished by a natural sympathy,
which neither time nor human efforts will ever be able to efface. She
who stands in such need of consolation would herself freely console
her daughter, if prudence did not restrain her; and I see her too
ready to become her confident, to fear that she can be angry with me.
Yesterday I heard her say, even before Eloisa, perhaps a little
indiscreetly, “ah! if it only depended on me!”----and tho’ she said no
more, I perceived by a kiss which Eloisa impressed on her hand, that
she too well understood her meaning. I am even certain that she was
several times inclined to speak to her inflexible husband, but whether
the danger of exposing her daughter to the fury of an enraged father,
or whether it was fear for herself, her timidity has hitherto kept her
silent: and her illness increases so fast, that I am afraid she will
never be able to execute her half-formed resolution.
However, notwithstanding the faults of which you are the cause, that
integrity of heart, visible in your mutual affection, has given her
such an opinion of you, that she confides in the promise you have both
made, of discontinuing your correspondence, and has not taken any
precaution to have her daughter more closely watched: indeed, if
Eloisa makes an ill return to her confidence, she will no longer be
worthy of her affection. You would both deserve the severest
treatment, if you were capable of deceiving the best of mothers, and
of abusing her esteem.
I shall not endeavour to revive in your mind the hopes which I myself
do not entertain; but I would shew you, that the most honest, is also
the wisest part, and that if you have any resource left, it is in the
sacrifice which reason and honour require. Mother, relations, and
friends are now all for you, except the father, who will by this
method be gained over, if any thing can do it. Whatever imprecations
you may utter in the moment of despair, you have a hundred times
proved to us, that there is no path more sure of leading to happiness
than that of virtue. Therefore resume your courage, and be a man! be
yourself. If I am well acquainted with your heart, the most cruel
manner of losing Eloisa, would be by rendering yourself unworthy of
her.
Letter XCVIII. From Eloisa.