It is necessary, my dear friend, that we should part for some time: I
ask it as the first proof of that obedience you have so often
promised. If I am urgent in my request, you may be assured I have good
reason for it: indeed I have, and you are too well convinced that I
must to be able to take this resolution; for your part, you will be
satisfied, since it is my desire.
You have long talked of taking a journey into Valais. I wish you would
determine to go before the approach of winter. Autumn, in this
country, still wears a mild and serene aspect; but you see the tops of
the mountains are already white, and six weeks later you should not
have my consent to take such a rough journey. Resolve therefore to set
out to-morrow: you will write to me by the direction which I shall
send, and you will give me yours when you arrive at Sion.
You would never acquaint me with the situation of your affairs; but
you are not in your own country; your fortune I know is small, and I
am persuaded you must diminish it here, where you stay only upon my
account. I look upon myself therefore as your purse-bearer, and send
you a small matter in the little box, which you must not open before
the bearer. I will not anticipate difficulties, and I have too great
an esteem for you to believe you capable of making any on this
occasion.
I beg you will not return without my permission, and also that you
will take no leave of us. You may write to my mother or me, merely to
inform us, that some unforeseen business requires your presence, that
you are obliged to depart immediately; and you may, if you please,
send me some directions concerning my studies, until you return. You
must be careful to avoid the least appearance of mystery. Adieu, my
dear friend, and forget not that you take with you the heart and soul
of Eloisa.
Letter XVI. Answer.
Every line of your terrible letter made me shudder. But I will obey
you; I have promised, and it is my duty: yes, you shall be obeyed. But
you cannot conceive, no, barbarous Eloisa, you will never comprehend
how this cruel sacrifice affects my heart. There wanted not the trial
in the bower to increase my sensibility. It was a merciless refinement
of inhumanity, and I now defy you to make me more miserable.
I return your box unopened. To add ignominy to cruelty is too much;
you are indeed the mistress of my fate, but not of my honour, I will
myself preserve this sacred deposit; alas! it is the only treasure I
have left! and I will never part with it so long as I live.
Letter XVII. Reply.
Your letter excites my compassion; it is the only senseless thing you
have ever written.