The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
As he was well read, and spoke fluently, his conversation was both
amusing and instructive. When I afterwards took a taste for study,
I cultivated his acquaintance, and found my account in it: when
at Chambery, I frequently went from thence to see him. His praises
increased my emulation, to which he added some good advice respecting
the prosecution of my studies, which I found useful. Unhappily, this
weakly body contained a very feeling soul. Some years after, he was
chagrined by I know not what unlucky affair, but it cost him his life.
This was really unfortunate, for he was a good little man, whom at a
first acquaintance one laughed at, but afterwards loved. Though our
situations in life were very little connected with each other, as I
received some useful lessons from him, I thought gratitude demanded that
I should dedicate a few sentences to his memory.
As soon as I found myself at liberty, I ran into the street where
Mademoiselle Galley lived, flattering myself that I should see someone
go in or out, or at least open a window, but I was mistaken, not even
a cat appeared, the house remaining as close all the time as if it had
been uninhabited. The street was small and lonely, any one loitering
about was, consequently, more likely to be noticed; from time to time
people passed in and out of the neighborhood; I was much embarrassed,
thinking my person might be known, and the cause that brought me there
conjectured; this idea tortured me, for I have ever preferred the honor
and happiness of those I love to my own pleasures.
At length, weary of playing the Spanish lover, and having no guitar, I
determined to write to Mademoiselle de G----. I should have preferred
writing to her friend, but did not dare take that liberty, as it
appeared more proper to begin with her to whom I owed the acquaintance,
and with whom I was most familiar. Having written my letter, I took it
to Mademoiselle Giraud, as the young ladies had agreed at parting,
they having furnished me with this expedient. Mademoiselle Giraud was a
quilter, and sometimes worked at Madam Galley’s, which procured her free
admission to the house. I must confess, I was not thoroughly satisfied
with this messenger, but was cautious of starting difficulties, fearing
that if I objected to her no other might be named, and it was impossible
to intimate that she had an inclination to me herself. I even felt
humiliated that she should think I could imagine her of the same sex as
those young ladies: in a word, I accepted her agency rather than none,
and availed myself of it at all events.