The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete — Jean-Jacques Rousseau — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
From that moment he did everything in his power to make things
disagreeable to me; and endeavored unjustly to deprive me of my rights,
by taking from me the pecuniary advantages annexed to my employment, to
give them to his dear Vitali; and I am convinced that had he dared to
send him to the senate, in my place, he would have done it. He commonly
employed the Abbe Binis in his closet, to write his private letters: he
made use of him to write to M. de Maurepas an account of the affair of
Captain Olivet, in which, far from taking the least notice of me, the
only person who gave himself any concern about the matter, he deprived
me of the honor of the depositions, of which he sent him a duplicate,
for the purpose of attributing them to Patizel, who had not opened his
mouth. He wished to mortify me, and please his favorite; but had
no desire to dismiss me his service. He perceived it would be more
difficult to find me a successor, than M. Follau, who had already made
him known to the world. An Italian secretary was absolutely necessary to
him, on account of the answers from the senate; one who could write all
his despatches, and conduct his affairs, without his giving himself the
least trouble about anything; a person who, to the merit of serving him
well, could join the baseness of being the toad-eater of his gentlemen,
without honor, merit, or principles. He wished to retain, and humble me,
by keeping me far from my country, and his own, without money to return
to either, and in which he would, perhaps, had succeeded, had he began
with more moderation: but Vitali, who had other views, and wished to
force me to extremities, carried his point. The moment I perceived, I
lost all my trouble, that the ambassador imputed to me my services as so
many crimes, instead of being satisfied with them; that with him I
had nothing to expect, but things disagreeable at home, and injustice
abroad; and that, in the general disesteem into which he was fallen, his
ill offices might be prejudicial to me, without the possibility of my
being served by his good ones; I took my resolution, and asked him
for my dismission, leaving him sufficient time to provide himself with
another secretary. Without answering yes or no, he continued to treat
me in the same manner, as if nothing had been said. Perceiving things
to remain in the same state, and that he took no measures to procure
himself a new secretary, I wrote to his brother, and, explaining to him
my motives, begged he would obtain my dismission from his excellency,
adding that whether I received it or not, I could not possibly remain
with him. I waited a long time without any answer, and began to be
embarrassed: but at length the ambassador received a letter from his
brother, which must have remonstrated with him in very plain terms; for
although he was extremely subject to ferocious rage, I never saw him so
violent as on this occasion. After torrents of unsufferable reproaches,