The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Jean-Jacques Rousseau · en
These are my two narratives. The eighteen months I passed at Venice
furnished me with no other of the same kind, except a simple prospect at
most. Carrio was a gallant. Tired of visiting girls engaged to others,
he took a fancy to have one to himself, and, as we were inseparable, he
proposed to me an arrangement common enough at Venice, which was to keep
one girl for us both. To this I consented. The question was, to find one
who was safe. He was so industrious in his researches that he found
out a little girl from eleven to twelve years of age, whom her infamous
mother was endeavoring to sell, and I went with Carrio to see her. The
sight of the child moved me to the most lively compassion. She was fair
and as gentle as a lamb. Nobody would have taken her for an Italian.
Living is very cheap in Venice; we gave a little money to the mother,
and provided for the subsistence of her daughter. She had a voice,
and to procure her some resource we gave her a spinnet, and a
singing-master. All these expenses did not cost each of us more than two
sequins a month, and we contrived to save a much greater sum in other
matters; but as we were obliged to wait until she became of a riper
age, this was sowing a long time before we could possibly reap. However,
satisfied with passing our evenings, chatting and innocently playing
with the child, we perhaps enjoyed greater pleasure than if we had
received the last favors. So true is it that men are more attached to
women by a certain pleasure they have in living with them, than by any
kind of libertinism. My heart became insensibly attached to the little
Anzoletta, but my attachment was paternal, in which the senses had
so little share, that in proportion as the former increased, to have
connected it with the latter would have been less possible; and I felt I
should have experienced, at approaching this little creature when become
nubile, the same horror with which the abominable crime of incest would
have inspired me. I perceived the sentiments of Carrio take, unobserved
by himself, exactly the same turn. We thus prepared for ourselves,
without intending it, pleasure not less delicious, but very different
from that of which we first had an idea; and I am fully persuaded that
however beautiful the poor child might have become, far from being the
corrupters of her innocence we should have been the protectors of it.
The circumstance which shortly afterwards befell me deprived me of the
happiness of taking a part in this good work, and my only merit in the
affair was the inclination of my heart.
I will now return to my journey.