A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 07 — Voltaire — John Shaqi
A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 07
Voltaire · en
Entering the city, the publican saw this sad spectacle--the governor,
the priestesses, the car, Minerva, and the seven maidens. He runs to
throw himself on his knees in a hut, along with a nephew of St. Thecusa.
He beseeches heaven that the seven ladies should be dead rather than
naked. His prayer is heard; he learns that the seven damsels, instead of
being deflowered, have been thrown into the lake with stones round their
necks, by order of the governor. Their virginity is in safe-keeping. At
this news the saint, raising himself from the ground and placing himself
upon his knees, turned his eyes towards heaven; and in the midst of the
various emotions he experienced of love, joy, and gratitude, he said, "I
give Thee thanks, O Lord! that Thou has not rejected the prayer of Thy
servant."
He slept; and during his sleep, St. Thecusa, the youngest of the drowned
women, appeared to him. "How now, son Theodotus!" she said, "you are
sleeping without thinking of us: have you forgotten so soon the care I
took of your youth? Do not, dear Theodotus, suffer our bodies to be
devoured by the fishes. Go to the lake, but beware of a traitor." This
traitor was, in fact, the nephew of St. Thecusa.
I omit here a multitude of miraculous adventures that happened to the
publican, in order to come to the most important. A celestial cavalier,
armed _cap-a-pie, _preceded by a celestial flambeau, descends from the
height of the empyrean, conducts the publican to the lake in the midst
of storms, drives away all the soldiers who guard the shore, and gives
Theodotus time to fish up the seven old women and to bury them.
The nephew of St. Thecusa unfortunately went and told all. Theodotus was
seized, and for three days all sorts of punishments were tried in vain
to kill him. They could only attain their object by cleaving his skull;
an operation which saints are never proof against.
He was still to be buried. His friend the minister Fronton--to whom
Theodotus, in his capacity of publican, had given two leathern bottles
filled with wine--made the guards drunk, and carried off the body.
Theodotus then appeared in body and spirit to the minister: "Well, my
friend," he said to him, "did I not say well, that you should have
relics for your chapel?"
Such is what is narrated by St. Nil, an eye-witness, who could neither
be deceived nor deceive; such is what Don Ruinart has quoted as a
genuine act. Now every man of sense, every intelligent Christian, will
ask himself, whether a better mode could be adopted of dishonoring the
most holy and venerated religion in the world, and of turning it into
ridicule?