A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 08 — Voltaire — John Shaqi
A Philosophical Dictionary, Volume 08
Voltaire · en
In comparison with a young and lively French bachelor in divinity,
brawling during the morning in the schools of theology, and singing with
the ladies in the evening, a Church-of-England divine is a Cato; but
this Cato is himself a gallant in presence of the Scottish
Presbyterians. The latter affect a solemn walk, a serious demeanor, a
large hat, a long robe beneath a short one, and preach through the nose.
All churches in which the ecclesiastics are so happy as to receive an
annual income of fifty thousand livres, and to be addressed by the
people as "my lord," "your grace," or "your eminence," they denominate
the whore of Babylon. These gentlemen have also several churches in
England, where they maintain the same manners and gravity as in
Scotland. It is to them chiefly that the English are indebted for the
strict sanctification of Sunday throughout the three kingdoms. They are
forbidden either to labor or to amuse themselves. No opera, no concert,
no comedy, in London on a Sunday. Even cards are expressly forbidden;
and there are only certain people of quality, who are deemed open souls,
who play on that day. The rest of the nation attend sermons, taverns,
and their small affairs of love.
Although Episcopacy and Presbyterianism predominate in Great Britain,
all other opinions are welcome and live tolerably well together,
although the various preachers reciprocally detest one another with
nearly the same cordiality as a Jansenist damns a Jesuit.
Enter into the Royal Exchange of London, a place more respectable than
many courts, in which deputies from all nations assemble for the
advantage of mankind. There the Jew, the Mahometan, and the Christian
bargain with one another as if they were of the same religion, and
bestow the name of infidel on bankrupts only. There the Presbyterian
gives credit to the Anabaptist, and the votary of the establishment
accepts the promise of the Quaker. On the separation of these free and
pacific assemblies, some visit the synagogue, others repair to the
tavern. Here one proceeds to baptize his son in a great tub, in the name
of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; there another deprives his boy of a
small portion of his foreskin, and mutters over the child some Hebrew
words which he cannot understand; a third kind hasten to their chapels
to wait for the inspiration of the Lord with their hats on; and all are
content.
[Illustration: John Calvin.]
Was there in London but one religion, despotism might be apprehended; if
two only, they would seek to cut each others throats; but as there are
at least thirty, they live together in peace and happiness.
PRETENSIONS.
There is not a single prince in Europe who does not assume the title of
sovereign of a country possessed by his neighbor. This political madness
is unknown in the rest of the world. The king of Boutan never called
himself emperor of China; nor did the sovereign of Tartary ever assume
the title of king of Egypt.