Alfred had a very interesting wife called Lady Windermere (The Lady of the Lake), who was always clothed in the same white frock, and used to go bathing with Sir Launcelot (also of the Lake) and was thus a Bad Queen. It was also in King Arthur’s time that the _Anglo-Saxon Chronicle_ was published: this was the first English newspaper and had all the news about his victories, and Lady Windermere, and the Cakes, etc. CHAPTER VIII ETHELREAD THE UNREADY. A WEAK KING Ethelread the Unready was the first Weak King of England and was thus the cause of a fresh Wave of Danes. He was called the Unready because he was never ready when the Danes were. Rather than wait for him the Danes used to fine him large sums called Danegeld, for not being ready. But though they were always ready, the Danes had very bad memories and often used to forget that they had been paid the Danegeld and come back for it almost before they had sailed away. By that time Ethelread was always unready again. Finally, Ethelread was taken completely unawares by his own death and was succeeded by Canute. CHAPTER IX CANUTE, AN EXPERIMENTAL KING This memorable monarch, having set out from Norway to collect some Danegeld, landed by mistake at Thanet, and thus became King. CANUTE AND THE WAVES [Illustration: A Bad King] Canute began by being a Bad King on the advice of his Courtiers, who informed him (owing to a misunderstanding of the Rule Britannia) that the King of England was entitled to sit on the sea without getting wet. But finding that they were wrong he gave up this policy and decided to take his own advice in future--thus originating the memorable proverb, “Paddle your own Canute”--and became a Good King and C. of E., and ceased to be memorable. After Canute there were no more aquatic kings till William IV (see later, Creation of Piers). Canute had two sons, Halfacanute and Partacanute, and two other offspring, Rathacanute and Hardlicanute, whom, however, he would never acknowledge, denying to the last that he was their Fathacanute. [Illustration] CHAPTER X EDWARD THE CONFESSOR On his death Canute’s Kingdom was divided between two further sons, who had been previously overlooked, Aftercanute and Harold Harebrush. These were succeeded by Edward the Confessor. It was about this time that the memorable Mac Beth (“Ian Hay”), known as the Bane of Fife, murdered a number of his enemies, including Mac Duff, Lord Dunsinaney, Sleep, etc. Edward the Confessor was with difficulty prevented from confessing to all these and many other crimes committed in his reign, as he was in the habit of confessing everything whether he had done it or not, and was thus a Weak King. THE LAST ENGLISH KING With Edward the Confessor perished the last English King (viz. Edward the Confessor), since he was succeeded by Waves of Norman Kings (French), Tudors (Welsh), Stuarts (Scottish) and Hanoverians (German), not to mention the memorable Dutch King Williamanmary. TEST PAPER I