To-night our comic muse the buskin wears, And gives herself no small romantic airs; Struts in heroics, and in pompous verse Does the minutest incidents rehearse; In ridicule's strict retrospect displays The poetasters of these modern days, Who with big bellowing bombast rend our ears, Which, stript of sound, quite void of sense appears; Or else their fiddle-faddle numbers flow, Serenely dull, elaborately low. "Chrononhotonthologos" is a short piece, in one act and seven scenes. It is described in its sub-title as "the most tragical tragedy that ever was tragedised by any company of tragedians," and it bears out the description tolerably well. When the curtain rises, there enter two courtiers of Queerummania--Rigdum-Funnidos and Aldiborontiphoscophornio. Says the latter to the former:-- Aldiborontiphoscophornio! Where left you Chrononhotonthologos? Chrononhotonthologos is the king, and we learn that he is in his tent, in a kind of waking slumber. Presently he enters, very much put out that he should be so inclined to doze, and very angry, consequently, with the God of Sleep. Says he:-- Sport not with Chrononhotonthologos, Thou idle slumb'rer, thou detested Somnus; and "exits in a huff." Whereupon the two courtiers, who have retired, re-enter:-- _Rigdum._ The King is in a most cursed passion! Pray who is the Mr. Somnus he's so angry withal? _Aldi._ The son of Chaos and of Erebus, Incestuous pair! brother of Mors relentless, Whose speckled robe, and wings of blackest hue, Astonish all mankind with hideous glare: Himself, with sable plumes, to men benevolent Brings downy slumbers and refreshing sleep. _Rigdum._ This gentleman may come of a very good family, for aught I know; but I would not be in his place for the world. _Aldi._ But lo! the king his footsteps this way bending, His cogitative faculties immers'd In cogibundity of cogitation. Thereupon the king re-enters, followed almost immediately by the captain of the guard, who informs him that "th' antipodean pow'rs from realms below have burst the entrails of the earth" and threaten the safety of the kingdom. "This world is too incopious to contain them; armies on armies march in form stupendous"--"tier on tier, high pil'd from earth to heaven." The king, however, is not alarmed. He bids Bombardinian, his general, draw his legions forth, and orders the priests to prepare their temples for rites of triumph:-- Let the singing singers, With vocal voices, most vociferous, In sweet vociferation, out-vociferise Ev'n sound itself. Happily the Antipodeans (who walk upon their hands) are badly beaten, and all run away except their king, with whom, alas! Fadladinida, the wife of Chrononhotonthologos, promptly falls in love. As she herself says to her favourite maiden:--